Friday Funnies :)

 

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

 
ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

 
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% …….. reboot.

 
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

 
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Global Whuh?

I got this in my Reader the other day and had to pass it on.  I got if from American Thinker if you’d like to read the article and access the links in it.   globalI felt compelled to comment on the “global warming” issue, because I think it’s a total hoax, and I believe there is now enough evidence to disprove it.  An excellent source of information can be found at Watts up with that.  For years I’ve been inundated with the whole “global warming” hype.  When I was a child, the warning was that we were going to enter into a world wide ice age.  It seems “science” or “scientists” can’t decide. 

Weather has always been a great unknown; unpredictable and uncontrollable.  So it seems that man must find some way to predict it and control it.  It strikes me as arrogant, the belief that man can have such an impact on the earth’s climate.  Frankly, I don’t think the earth cares one way or the other what man does – it will go on, as it always has.  Despite man. 

Your local meteorologist can’t accurately tell you what the weather will be like next week, and global alarmists think they can predict the weather into the next century?  Come on!  What idiocy is that!?  It’s become a religion now, global warming, and if you’re not a believer, you’re a heretic.  You have to change your life to accommodate the alarmists and if you don’t, you’re ostracized.  It’s kind of like Islamic extremism that way.  Believe, or be cast aside!  Follow, or die in the catastrophe you will cause!  It’s enough to make the eyes roll in exasperation. 

And today (as I write this) comes information that the global temperature has dropped, and wiped out an entire century of “warming trends.”  Since we’ve only had the thermometer for about 150 years, how do they know what a “warming trend” is?  Everything else is simply speculation, with no facts to back it up.  “Oh, but look at ice core samples,” you say.  And I say, “Well, when they pulled up an ice core sample, it didn’t come with a little note that stated, ‘frozen in 10,000 B.C.’”  That ice could have been there for only 5 years, there’s no way to know for sure.  There is no way to know, accurately and with documented evidence, that any warming or cooling trends are extant.  For all we know, such temperature changes are cyclical.  Certainly today’s evidence confirms the fact that man has nothing to do with any changes in global temperature.  Nothing in man’s behavior has changed in the last year, and yet the temperature has gone down almost an entire degree.  What took 100 years to go up, has come down in 12 months.  Sorry, that ain’t man’s fault.  Neither was the rise in temperatures.  Let’s be reasonable people!   

 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323645,00.html

http://media.kusi.clickability.com/documents/Comments+on+Global+Warming1.pdf (the guy who started The Weather Channel)

http://frontpagemag.com/Articles/Read.aspx?GUID=D9F17F62-10FF-4F53-8288-28353B567FDF

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,318686,00.html

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1034077.cms

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1363818.ece

http://www.fdrs.org/arguments_against_global_warming.html

 

 

 

A Childhood Tune

I can’t make heads or tails of it.  One night I’m dreaming about candy covered cake, and the next I’m having nightmares.  It’s enough to drive a girl crazy!  I prefer the confectionary dreams myself – I’ve had quite enough of nightmares, thank you! 

So after I woke up at 4 am this morning, I couldn’t go back to sleep.  Who could?  It was a pretty bad nightmare.  I laid there for a while, thinking.  And for some reason this little song I learned as a child in Christian school started floating through my mind:  “Praise ye the Lord, hallelujah …”  It’s been a long time since I’ve been filled with just praise for God.  Usually I’m simply a beggar.  Please God, please God!  It’s been that way for a long time, and I thought by now He’d be sick of my nagging and would say yes to my pleas just to get me to quit bothering Him.  But no.  No blessing for the Falcon.  Yeah, I can talk about crisis of faith.  I’ve learned a lot in the last few years.  I can relate to Job in quite a number of ways, more-so than I ever wanted to relate to any Biblical person.  I don’t know if there’s been some sort of spiritual significance in the things I’ve faced, but I have learned that sometimes crap just happens that has nothing to do with God.  It seems that typically our first instinct is to blame Him for anything bad that happens in our life, an accusation He doesn’t deserve. 

Anyway, the praise.  For hours that little song just filled my spirit, and in many ways it felt like being washed.  Clean.  God is good.  Life may be frightening in many respects, but God is still God and He is good.

After a few hours I was able to fall back to sleep, and it was a good sleep.  The baby slept all night too, so maybe we’re making progress.  :)

 

 

Good enough to eat!

I subscribed to “Overheard at the Office” and every day I get some silliness in my Google Reader.  This one today cracked me up.  I am not the only one who finds Johnny Depp “cracker worthy!”  LOL  My husband teases me for my Depp crush, but he knows that if I had to choose, Depp would lose, hands down.  Plus, he gets a little huffy with me when I tell him I think Depp looks like him.  I have no clue why he feels so insulted when I say that.  Maybe it’s because of the dorky hats that Johnny wears?  I dunno.  But I’ll take Depp on a cracker.  And then have my husband for dessert.  ;)   overheard1

More Odd Search Engine Terms

The other morning I went to check out my blog stats, and what did I find in my Search Engine Terms?SETa  Do I really want to know what “u tube raga apartments side turkey” is supposed to mean?  I’m not sure.  What is a side turkey?  Ok, I have to look now!  Hm, did you know there is a hotel type place in Side, Turkey, called the Raga Apartments?  I didn’t either.  I bet my friend Raga will be pleased to know!  Now the term that seemed so bizarre makes sense.  But, why did they come to my page when it clearly wasn’t what they were looking for? 

As for Dora whora – well, I knew I couldn’t be the only one who didn’t like her, but I had no idea that some people have even made little porn cartoons about her!  Please people!  It’s one thing to hate a cartoon, but to waste the time making it into porn?  A children’s cartoon character?  Sheesh!  And I thought I didn’t have a life!

And, the “chicago sucks” that is so near and dear to my heart is now pretty much a daily occurrence.  ;)  

The Internet is now there to answer any question that might go through a person’s head; those strange things that pre-internet you’d probably have kept to yourself.  Now the whole world knows.  Ain’t technology grand?!  I think so!  Woo!

 

 

 

Voting?

Have you forgotten? She thinks you have.

 

You might also want to check out “The Clinton Chronicles” on YouTube as well.
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Baby Sister

Some time ago, I got her a pair of sunglasses.  They were too big for her little head, and the lenses weren’t dark enough for the bright summer sun.  Eventually I found another pair that fit her better and had darker lenses, and the big ones went into the sunglasses basket I keep by the door.  A few weeks ago however, while exploring the shelf by the door that holds the mittens basket as well as the sunglasses basket, she found the pair of too-large glasses.  “Oooooh!” she cried, while putting them on.  They were still a bit too large, the temple folded her ears over in a way that looks uncomfortable.  But she wears those glasses for hours at a time.  She runs and plays wearing them.  She puts on mini-concerts singing along with the kid shows on TV, wearing her glasses like a rock star.  She literally sees the world through rose-colored lenses now.  Often when she’s not looking through them, she shoves them to the top of her head like a tourist on vacation.

She’s a rough and tumble little girl, always running and skipping, bouncing along because plain walking would never do.  She has places to go!  Things to do!  People to see!  She loves to have her nails painted, and sometimes she wears the little princess crown I got her.  But, she adores her big brother and anything he likes has a guaranteed coolness factor built in.  Dolls?  Oh sure.  Mommy got her a Barbie last year, and it sits collecting dust in her toy bin.  Big brother’s Venom and Spiderman are the winners.  Clothes?  Brother’s hand-me-down Spiderman jammies of course.  Mommy picked up “The Little Mermaid.”  Favorite movie?  Spiderman 3.  Ask her name and she’ll tell you “Walden,” her favorite character on Wow Wow Wubbzy.  Predictably, Walden is a boy.  At least she picked the smart one, right?  Daddy couldn’t resist getting her the pink satin-covered foam princess chair.  She uses it for football tackle practice.

I will – and I mean that – get her the Sleeping Beauty costume at some point in her childhood.  And the sparkly play shoes and jewelry that go with it – to match the crown naturally.  I will continue to paint her nails.  (Thank the Lord for speed-dry polish!)  When her hair grows out I will curl it, put it in little pony tails and barrettes.  I will do everything in my power to encourage the girly girl living inside her to come out.  In the meantime, she’s got this awesome big brother and the sun rises and sets on him.  She cries if he gets in trouble!  I’m glad she adores him, I really am.  How could she not?  She’s looking at him through those girly rose colored glasses.  :)

 

roseglasses 

 

 

Why I think Chicago sucks

So, you’ve just Googled “Chicago sucks” or clicked the WordPress tags link “Chicago sucks” and you find yourself here.  (It’s extremely unlikely you got here with any other search term.)  Now what?  Please allow me to give you a little friendly advice.  If you actually love Chicago and were only Googling “Chicago sucks” for the giggles, please keep moving, find another blog.  You WON’T like what you read here.  Please don’t comment, because this is NOT a debate site, it’s a commiseration site for people who feel the same.  It’s also NOT a public forum, it’s a post on my personal blog, so 1st Amendment rights do not apply to you here.  I don’t allow flames, or name calling – such comments are deleted.  I’m also not particularly indulgent when people think they need to “defend Chicago” or “offer a rebuttal” to my opinion of Chicago.  First of all, Chicago doesn’t need you to defend it; secondly, you can’t say anything that anyone here hasn’t heard thousands of times already; and thirdly, I don’t need a “rebuttal” because I AM the rebuttal to the starry-eyed “Chicago is the greatest city in the world!” attitude.  Still have something to say?  Here, go to www.wordpress.com and get your own blog.

For the record: No, I haven’t dedicated an entire blog to Chicago sucking.  No, this is not all I think about.  This is but one post out of hundreds on my blog.  No, these are not the only comments on this post.  The comment thread got so huge I had to move them to another page in an attempt to shorten the length here.  No, I’m not a native Chicagoan.  Yes, I live in Chicagoland.  Yes, I’ve lived here for decades.  Yes, I’ve lived in other cities around the country.  Yes, I’d love to move.  No, circumstances don’t permit that right now.  Why, is really none of your business.  It’s enough that if I could move, I would.  But since I’m currently stuck here, and a tax-paying citizen here, I feel free to express my opinion with the state of things here.  Don’t like that?  Then move along, nothing for you to see here.

Yes, we know Chicago has bars, museums, restaurants, parades, the El, and a big, shiny bean.  No, those are not the things we particularly care about.  Yes, we know other cities have problems too, but we don’t live in other cities, we live here, and are concerned about issues here.  It’s not enough to say “It’s not as bad as Cleveland, or Detroit,” when the reality is, why aren’t we as good as Houston or Salt Lake City?  They have lower taxes, lower unemployment, lower crime.  Why do Chicagoans settle for less, and apparently like it?  So, you want to say, “Get the f*ck out if you don’t like it here!”?  How about YOU leave so we can fix the place up and make it better?  Just sayin’.

If, on the other hand, you don’t care too much for Chicago either, and need a place to vent your frustration, want a group of like-minded people to share your thoughts with, then by all means, scroll down and say hello.  :)

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You can visit my Anti-Chicago Page to see a complete list of all my Anti-Chicago posts.

To see all comments prior to the last couple of months, check out the Comments Page:)

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I seem to have collected a few posts on the subject of "Chicago sucks." It started as sort of a joke, when the Forbes article came out, and echoed my own personal feelings about the place. I blogged about that, and it seemed that lots of other people felt the same as I did, based on the number of searches for "Chicago sucks" that ended up at my blog. I’ve decided to dedicate an entire page to the posts I’ve done about this subject, and to have a spot where I can keep a sort of "running commentary" on things as they occur to me. If you’ve come here to vent about Chicago, please feel free to comment (here or on any of the posts) and get it off your chest. :) If you’ve come here to argue with me, please don’t bother. You’re never going to change how I feel about a place, or undo what I’ve dealt with. If you want to love on Chicago, I’m more than happy to point you to www.wordpress.com, where you can get your own blog and praise Chicago to the skies. No hard feelings. :D

======================================================

(The original post from Feb. 2008, in its entirety, follows.)

Recently I did a little post called, "Proof That Chicago Sucks." It has turned out to be one of my most popular posts, and I get daily searches for the phrase "Chicago sucks" in my search engine terms. So I thought I’d dedicate an entire post to the subject, with my reasons for disliking Chicago, and not simply Forbes reasons for listing it in the Top 10 Most Miserable US cities.

FireShot #62

The unemployment rate is higher than the national average. I can speak from personal experience that this is especially true in the tech industry. And even if you can get a job, the pay rate will be below national average. Housing sales are down more than 22% since the same time period last year. The average home price is close to $260,000. And property taxes are through the roof. (Pun intended!) Can’t afford a house? Plan on paying at least $1000 to rent a half-way decent apartment. The commute time is horrible, on roads that are more pothole and patchwork than actual road. Plan on an hour, each way, just to get to work and back.

The weather is terrible. A local joke is that Chicago has 2 seasons – winter and road work. Um, it’s not a joke and it’s not funny. I have calculated that temperatures can vary as much as 200°. I have seen -80° windchills in winter, and 120° heat indices in summer. Often it is colder here than in Alaska. Jackets? You like jackets? Good, because you’ll need at least 6. One to wear to and from the car, one to wear in the car, one to wear inside, one for fall days, one for fall nights, and one for rainy days. See, if you get one heavy enough for outside wear, it’s too bulky to wear in the car, but your car’s not warm enough to ditch the coat entirely – you still need something to stay warm. The weather varies so widely that you need a coat, jacket, or sweater for every 10° variance. In the summer, the heat and humidity can be so stifling that it’s almost difficult to breathe. It’s no surprise that Chicago has one of the highest asthma rates in the nation. How hot is it? In 1995, it was so hot that nearly 600 people died in less than a week from heat related causes. Spring? Don’t blink or you’ll miss it. Autumn’s not a whole lot different.

The City That Works? ROFLMAO Yeah. I remember when this story about sleeping on the job hit the air. Pictures and video of sleeping city workers were all over the news. Officials leave work early, if they deign to show up at all. They put friends and relatives on the payroll. No, they don’t give them jobs, just put them on the payroll. Government corruption in Chicago, and the Illinois state government? Notorious. One of our former governors is sitting in prison right now for his role in this truck license scam that cost a family 6 of their children.

Taxes? Chicago has one of the highest tax rates in the country. (And it’s gone up since the linked article was written.) Someone has to pay for all those relatives and friends on city payrolls. It seems like everything costs more here, from milk to gasoline. Utility rates are sky high. Take natural gas, for instance: one year I lived in a place that had electric heat. The years before and after I had gas heat. During that one year with electric heat, gas prices had doubled. Before, I paid about $75 to heat my house. The year after? About $150. Bigger house? No. I checked the bill – the rates were 100% higher. And that was 10 years ago.

People think the food here is wonderful. I suspect the only people who feel that way are the people who have lived here all their lives, and never eaten anywhere else. Chicago pizza isn’t all that hot. It’s more sauce than cheese, and sausage seems to be the topping of choice around here. Saucy sausage on dough. Does that sound appetizing to you? And did you know, it’s offensive to put ketchup on a Chicago Style hot dog? I kid you not: "It is taboo to put ketchup on a Chicago hot dog; there are actually some hot dog shops and stands that will refuse to provide service if the customer makes the request." They aren’t kidding – I’ve been to such places. "We don’ got no catch up heeah. You ain’t from Shikahga, air ya?" No. No I’m not. (Yes, folks actually speak like Dennis Franz around here. He’s from Chicago, not New York. The "accent" he has is native to here.) And I would love to get out, but it’s like living in a black hole.

There’s some sort of weird arrogance in Chicago too, at least on the news. Everything has to have some kind of Chicago connection. When the September 11 attacks happened, I expected my local news to carry the story of what was happening across the nation – New York, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C. Nothing was happening here, the big news was elsewhere. What was the news about? The Sears Tower and how it might possibly may have maybe at some point thought to have been we think on the speculated we assume target list. Oh and by the way, some planes made the World Trade Center collapse. But they were headed to Chicago! It was nauseating.

Those are a few of my reasons. I have more, but I think this is enough for a post. No doubt you’d say, "More than!" LoL :) That’s why I hope someone who’s searched for "Chicago sucks" comments here. Hey, we’re in one of the Top 10 Most Miserable cities! Misery loves company! Let’s chat!

Some people like it here. I doubt they’ve ever lived some place else to compare it to. I’m happy for them, honestly. It’s good to like where you live. I know of families who’ve lived around Chicago for generations. I wish I could live where I liked and like where I lived. It must be a great feeling. One day I’ll get out, and find that place where I fit in. It’s just not here.

If you like Chicago, try these links: Why I Love Chicago, or you can to Chicagoist, or to Chicago Adventures. They like Chicago too, and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to have you visit.  :)

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======================================================

Because of Julian

I’d like to introduce you to Julian.  He passed away about a month ago.  He was 4.  I found his site on another blog, and was captivated by his story.  His mother just has a way with words.  Her journal entries captivated me.  Initially, I resisted checking out Julian’s website.  Who wants to read about a sick child?  It’s too heartbreaking, and I have enough problems of my own.  It’s easier to deal with if we don’t have to see it.  If I don’t see it, I can pretend it isn’t there, that it doesn’t affect me.  Isn’t that just human nature?  The proverbial “it’s happening to someone else and not to me, so I don’t need to care” syndrome.  We feel that way until it’s us, and then we can’t understand why more people don’t care.  So I went to www.carepages.com and registered.  I went to the “juliansworld” carepage.  I read through some of the entries.  I wept.  Julian’s mom has a wonderful way of capturing, and sharing, what all of us would feel if it was our child suffering.  Her posts weren’t the stale entries of a clinician.  They were the outpourings of grief, sorrow, hope, and joy.  I’m not the kind who can wear their heart on their sleeve, but Mimi is.  Not only did she wear it on her sleeve, she splashed it all over “juliansworld.”  I thought, when Julian died, that Mimi would stop posting to the carepage.  Oh no!  She even shared her thoughts on what not to say to a grieving parent.  Kindly, but honestly.  She’s like a tenderizer for the heart.  I came to greatly admire her.   

So I got this email update the other day, and decided to share it with you.  I copied it directly from “juliansworld.”  I didn’t want to paraphrase anything, and besides, Mimi doesn’t need anyone to speak for her – she is wonderfully eloquent all on her own.  I cannot encourage you enough to visit the site, or to get involved in any way you can, even if it’s just to goad your elected officials to provide funding for pediatric cancer research.  Until I got this update, I had no idea that childhood cancer was so pervasive.  It may very well be your child who is diagnosed one day.  Childhood is hard enough without dealing with cancer too.  So is parenthood.  I simply can’t imagine what it’s like to watch your child suffer like that.  I can’t make a cure, but I can support those who are trying to.  Maybe you will feel compelled too.

 

Mimi wrote:            

“I miss him . A year ago , nothing was wrong with him , or so we thought…Today he is gone.
Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com
a year ago
Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com
12 hours before he died

 
Does this seem normal to anyone??

 
Do you think we (and our children) can make a difference? Do you think you can?
Of course !!! just giving blood is a big help…
here is another way, a good friend is trying hard …

“The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007 is now being considered in Congress. This bill would provide much-needed funding for pediatric cancer research.*

Please contact your elected official, and urge him/her to get this bill on the floor for a vote soon.Even those officials who support the idea need to take action to keep this bill alive.Here¢s how you can help:
START HERE:
http://capwiz.com/curesearch/issues/bills (or http://tinyurl.com/2hpeej)

 
Click on S 911 (Senate version of the bill) or HR 1553 (House version).

 
Enter your zip code on the next screen.A new window will identify your local members of Congress.

 
From here, it¢s simple:type in your name & address and instantly send a pre-written email to your elected officials (or print it out if you prefer to snail-mail).

 
If you like, you may customize your letter, reminding your leaders of these facts:

  •  
    Cancer remains the #1 cause of death by disease in children.
  •  
    Every year in the US , 12,000 children are diagnosed with some form of cancer.
  •  
    35% of these children do not survive.
  • Cancer kills more children than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis, and AIDS combined.
  •  
    1 in every 334 children will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 20.

 
Thank you for helping us.Childhood cancer is too important to ignore.And we really do believe that together, we CAN make a difference!

 
Sincerely,
Donna G and the other members of Johnny¢s Angels
* You can read more about the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007 here:
http://www.curesearch.org/news_and_media/news_article.aspx?id=4612
* Want to know if your local Congress member supports the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007?
Go here:
http://tinyurl.com/ytsst8
Thanks
Make a difference….
Mimi”

 

More Odd Search Terms

So I got up early this morning.  I have decided: I will not let the baby sleep all day.  I am going to wake her up early, and try to get her on some sort of decent schedule.  She’s killing me!  Anyway …

I found this in my search engine terms today.  At first, I laughed.  Um, hate to tell you, Dear Searcher, Jesus doesn’t use email.  He does use prayer, and the Bible, but email, not so much.  I’m just sayin’. fireshot2

But then I got to thinking.  (Yes, I know, always a bad sign!)  How did anyone end up on my blog with that search term?  I went through 20 pages of Google, to see which of my posts came up using that term, and none did.  It would be nice, wouldn’t it, if Jesus did have email?  He’d seem so much more reachable.  Not that He’s not now, but there are times in my life when it feels like the Lord is out, and all I get is the automated vacation response.  That, or my email went to His spam folder.  It’s frustrating, to say the least.  I need to get in touch with His email administrator.  Um, would that be God, the Father?  Or the Holy Spirit?  I need to talk to You! 

Still, this search term struck me as a prayer.  Someone out there is looking for the Lord.  Maybe instead of chuckling, I ought to pray for them instead.  Oh, I hate being taken down a peg.  You’d think I’d be used to it by now.

Unintentional flashers?  That one blew me away!  Then I saw that someone had gone to my “meet” page.  Ah, yes.  The flashing incident.  How could I have forgotten?

And lo and behold, people who think Chicago sucks are still coming to my blog!  Maybe I ought to just dedicate an entire post detailing my gripes with the place.  I only mentioned it once before in a little blurb with a link to a Forbes article, but now it seems to be developing a life of it’s own.  People give you dirty looks around here if you say, “Chicago sucks” out loud, so it’s nice to know that others feel like I do, even if they’re not saying it out loud.  ;)   They’re thinking it.  And that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even if it feels like -7° outside.

For you, my Love, a song.  ;)   Just teasing.  I couldn’t resist.  You know I love you with all my heart forever and ever.  (And those of you familiar with his fiction works will no doubt catch the joke.  :D )

Odd Search Engine Terms

Based on what I’ve seen in my Search Engine Terms for the past several days, I’m not the only one who feels this way about Chicago!  (Forbes does too!)  I don’t know why, but this just cracks me up.  :)   C’mon, comment please, fellow Chicago haters!  We have so much to talk about!  Tell me why you think Chicago sucks!

WPscreenshot

Finally posted!

Some of you know I’ve been planning on starting up a site for writers.

Well, I finally got the first post up! 

If you’d like to check it out, go to WritersNesst.

Please feel free to join in!

:D

Bossy Boy

My son is a bossy boy.  He’s funny – just ask him – but bossy.  Even before he was born, his personality showed through.  He’d get hiccups in the womb, and if they lasted too long, he’d kick like a horse in frustration.  Oooh, I could tell he’d be a temperamental one!  When he was just a tiny baby, before could even turn over, he moved his bassinet across the floor.  It had wheels, and the floor was hardwood, but he wanted to turn over, so he kicked and kicked, slowly edging that bassinet, until he finally started crying in frustration.  I was amazed by his determination. 

When he was around a year – give or take a few months – Daddy offered him one of those baby hot dogs that come in the jar.  He turned his head – not interested.  Daddy tried to be more encouraging.  Baby boy grabbed the mini hot dog, and flung it across the room with all his baby might.  The dog was grateful. 

Overall he was a happy baby, and he has always loved to make people laugh.  He was pretty well behaved, and didn’t even go through the “terrible two’s” … until he was 3.  Around that time I discovered I was pregnant again.  Still suffering from sleep deprivation from when I was expecting my son, and circumstances we went through in the years following his arrival, I simply couldn’t get through that last pregnancy without dozing off sometimes during the day.  Pregnancy is exhausting!  My son didn’t like that.  I’d pass out in my chair while we watched TV together, and he decided to take matters into his own hands.  Just tall enough to finally reach the light switch, he’d flick the lights on and and off.  If I fell asleep on the bed, he’d jump up and down on it.  At the time, the only bed we had was an air mattress, so you can imagine the bouncing.  Bouncing isn’t fun for ladies who are 8 months pregnant.  His most creative expression of displeasure with me came when I’d left the ironing board up.  No, never the iron, but I did have a spray bottle to wet the clothes before I ironed them.  Can you guess?  Yep.  Mommy got a cold spray in the face when she dozed off once.  It was a difficult pregnancy, in more ways than one. 

My husband said to me last night, “Well, at least he doesn’t bother you anymore when you’re sleeping.”  I snorted in derision.  “I forgot to make his chocolate milk last night before I went to bed,” I told him, “and this morning, he took his chocolate milk cup out of the refrigerator and pressed it on my arm while I was sleeping.”  My husband had just taken a drag from his cigarette when I said that – if there is such a thing as a “spit-take” for smokers, he had one. 

Where does he get his ideas?

No, I’m not a bad mommy, just a tired one.  My son has always been a morning boy, but the baby keeps vampire hours, often not going to sleep until 4 in the morning.  Mommy is now a zombie.  I keep the spray bottle locked up, and try not to forget to make his chocolate milk the night before, but when he’s up, and he wants me up, there’s no stopping him.

Really, he’s a good boy, and a wonderful big brother.  He just knows what he wants.  Now if I could find a way to channel that, I just might be making soup commercials with my Superbowl MVP son one day!

   

Ramble, ramble, ramble

Okay, enough cute lately.  Be grateful I don’t bombard you with pictures of my kids or your teeth would decay on the spot.  I have some cuuuuute kids.  :)

I’ve been reading back issues of magazines, checking out news on the internet, and talking with my Beloved.  I should have enough source material for a year.  So why do I feel so blank?  Lack of sleep perhaps?  And when I did sleep the other day, I had a terrible nightmare – maybe one for my Top 5 Nightmares of All Time list.  It’s still bugging me. 

I know my Love has been plagued by an awful case of writer’s block lately.  He’s had a lot on his mind.  It’s hard for a writer to wrestle with.  And the stuff on his mind has been on mine too, and not just our own worries, but the worries we carry for those we care about as well.  When we love you, we don’t just politely love you from a distance; we love you, dammit.  That means if you need something, and we have it, it’s yours.  Your problems become our problems and we’ll do whatever we can to fix it.  And it pains us when we don’t have the means to do so.

So I encourage my Love to write.  I so believe in what he’s done with Ghost Hunters, and is doing with Witch Hunt.  His Childhood Memoirs are funny as hell too – edgy, but funny.  :)   Heck, I should create a page on here just for his writing, I plug it so much.  Writing would be his dream job, and mine too.  Not for me, but for him, because it’s nice having him around.  We missed a lot of years together, so any way we can make up for that, we’re all for it!  Publishers?  We’re open to talk!

Nothing has changed on the home front, and for those who pray, we sure could use them.  Thank you.  :)

I have no real news.  Life keeps moving, carrying us along with it.  The baby, now 2½, has entered the “Terrible Two’s.”  Everything is a crisis for her.  She’s become a little drama queen, throwing her tantrums with passion and style.  And when she’s done, she says sweetly, “I’m weady to be sowwy now!”  She apologizes so adorably, it almost makes the tantrums worth it.  Almost.  Last night my son said, “I can’t go in there with her, she’ll give me a headache!”  Smart kid!  I’ll have to use that one next time he throws a fit about something and gives me a headache!  Right now he’s playing with the baby’s foam princess chair, pretending to tackle it like a football player and giving himself the giggles.  Good thing the baby’s still sleeping or there’d be a fit about that too.  In a way, I envy fit-throwers.  I have always wanted to just throw something across the room when I’m angry, but I can’t.  I might break something, and then I’d have to clean it up, and what if I couldn’t replace what got broken?  But it sure looks like it feels good, sending something hurtling with all your might, with all that pent up fury.  Ah, to not care about such things, like the baby! 

Hopefully my Love will get the next installment of Witch Hunt up today or tomorrow.  It’s been a slow going process this time.  Part of me thinks it’s because it’s not “seat of the pants” writing like last time.  We already know what’s going to happen, so there’s no surprise for us.  It takes a bit of the urgency away I think.  Also, this story is more complex, so he wants to be more thoughtful about his approach.  It will be worth it though, of that I am sure.

I did manage to blog on my football pages, but I’m still stuck on my writers page.  Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Ass-kickings? 

Anyway, I’ll end this here before the rambling becomes even more unmanageable.  ;)   Thanks for sticking with me so far!

 

 

 

  

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