My son is a bossy boy. He’s funny – just ask him – but bossy. Even before he was born, his personality showed through. He’d get hiccups in the womb, and if they lasted too long, he’d kick like a horse in frustration. Oooh, I could tell he’d be a temperamental one! When he was just a tiny baby, before could even turn over, he moved his bassinet across the floor. It had wheels, and the floor was hardwood, but he wanted to turn over, so he kicked and kicked, slowly edging that bassinet, until he finally started crying in frustration. I was amazed by his determination.
When he was around a year – give or take a few months – Daddy offered him one of those baby hot dogs that come in the jar. He turned his head – not interested. Daddy tried to be more encouraging. Baby boy grabbed the mini hot dog, and flung it across the room with all his baby might. The dog was grateful.
Overall he was a happy baby, and he has always loved to make people laugh. He was pretty well behaved, and didn’t even go through the “terrible two’s” … until he was 3. Around that time I discovered I was pregnant again. Still suffering from sleep deprivation from when I was expecting my son, and circumstances we went through in the years following his arrival, I simply couldn’t get through that last pregnancy without dozing off sometimes during the day. Pregnancy is exhausting! My son didn’t like that. I’d pass out in my chair while we watched TV together, and he decided to take matters into his own hands. Just tall enough to finally reach the light switch, he’d flick the lights on and and off. If I fell asleep on the bed, he’d jump up and down on it. At the time, the only bed we had was an air mattress, so you can imagine the bouncing. Bouncing isn’t fun for ladies who are 8 months pregnant. His most creative expression of displeasure with me came when I’d left the ironing board up. No, never the iron, but I did have a spray bottle to wet the clothes before I ironed them. Can you guess? Yep. Mommy got a cold spray in the face when she dozed off once. It was a difficult pregnancy, in more ways than one.
My husband said to me last night, “Well, at least he doesn’t bother you anymore when you’re sleeping.” I snorted in derision. “I forgot to make his chocolate milk last night before I went to bed,” I told him, “and this morning, he took his chocolate milk cup out of the refrigerator and pressed it on my arm while I was sleeping.” My husband had just taken a drag from his cigarette when I said that – if there is such a thing as a “spit-take” for smokers, he had one.
Where does he get his ideas?
No, I’m not a bad mommy, just a tired one. My son has always been a morning boy, but the baby keeps vampire hours, often not going to sleep until 4 in the morning. Mommy is now a zombie. I keep the spray bottle locked up, and try not to forget to make his chocolate milk the night before, but when he’s up, and he wants me up, there’s no stopping him.
Really, he’s a good boy, and a wonderful big brother. He just knows what he wants. Now if I could find a way to channel that, I just might be making soup commercials with my Superbowl MVP son one day!
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