So, you’ve just Googled “Chicago sucks” or clicked the WordPress tags link “Chicago sucks” and you find yourself here. (It’s extremely unlikely you got here with any other search term.) Now what? Please allow me to give you a little friendly advice. If you actually love Chicago and were only Googling “Chicago sucks” for the giggles, please keep moving, find another blog. You WON’T like what you read here. Please don’t comment, because this is NOT a debate site, it’s a commiseration site for people who feel the same. It’s also NOT a public forum, it’s a post on my personal blog, so 1st Amendment rights do not apply to you here. I don’t allow flames, or name calling – such comments are deleted. I’m also not particularly indulgent when people think they need to “defend Chicago” or “offer a rebuttal” to my opinion of Chicago. First of all, Chicago doesn’t need you to defend it; secondly, you can’t say anything that anyone here hasn’t heard thousands of times already; and thirdly, I don’t need a “rebuttal” because I AM the rebuttal to the starry-eyed “Chicago is the greatest city in the world!” attitude. Still have something to say? Here, go to www.wordpress.com and get your own blog.
For the record: No, I haven’t dedicated an entire blog to Chicago sucking. No, this is not all I think about. This is but one post out of hundreds on my blog. No, these are not the only comments on this post. The comment thread got so huge I had to move them to another page in an attempt to shorten the length here. No, I’m not a native Chicagoan. Yes, I live in Chicagoland. Yes, I’ve lived here for decades. Yes, I’ve lived in other cities around the country. Yes, I’d love to move. No, circumstances don’t permit that right now. Why, is really none of your business. It’s enough that if I could move, I would. But since I’m currently stuck here, and a tax-paying citizen here, I feel free to express my opinion with the state of things here. Don’t like that? Then move along, nothing for you to see here.
Yes, we know Chicago has bars, museums, restaurants, parades, the El, and a big, shiny bean. No, those are not the things we particularly care about. Yes, we know other cities have problems too, but we don’t live in other cities, we live here, and are concerned about issues here. It’s not enough to say “It’s not as bad as Cleveland, or Detroit,” when the reality is, why aren’t we as good as Houston or Salt Lake City? They have lower taxes, lower unemployment, lower crime. Why do Chicagoans settle for less, and apparently like it? So, you want to say, “Get the f*ck out if you don’t like it here!”? How about YOU leave so we can fix the place up and make it better? Just sayin’.
If, on the other hand, you don’t care too much for Chicago either, and need a place to vent your frustration, want a group of like-minded people to share your thoughts with, then by all means, scroll down and say hello.
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You can visit my Anti-Chicago Page to see a complete list of all my Anti-Chicago posts.
To see all comments prior to the last couple of months, check out the Comments Page.
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I seem to have collected a few posts on the subject of "Chicago sucks." It started as sort of a joke, when the Forbes article came out, and echoed my own personal feelings about the place. I blogged about that, and it seemed that lots of other people felt the same as I did, based on the number of searches for "Chicago sucks" that ended up at my blog. I’ve decided to dedicate an entire page to the posts I’ve done about this subject, and to have a spot where I can keep a sort of "running commentary" on things as they occur to me. If you’ve come here to vent about Chicago, please feel free to comment (here or on any of the posts) and get it off your chest.
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(The original post from Feb. 2008, in its entirety, follows.)
Recently I did a little post called, "Proof That Chicago Sucks." It has turned out to be one of my most popular posts, and I get daily searches for the phrase "Chicago sucks" in my search engine terms. So I thought I’d dedicate an entire post to the subject, with my reasons for disliking Chicago, and not simply Forbes reasons for listing it in the Top 10 Most Miserable US cities.
The unemployment rate is higher than the national average. I can speak from personal experience that this is especially true in the tech industry. And even if you can get a job, the pay rate will be below national average. Housing sales are down more than 22% since the same time period last year. The average home price is close to $260,000. And property taxes are through the roof. (Pun intended!) Can’t afford a house? Plan on paying at least $1000 to rent a half-way decent apartment. The commute time is horrible, on roads that are more pothole and patchwork than actual road. Plan on an hour, each way, just to get to work and back.
The weather is terrible. A local joke is that Chicago has 2 seasons – winter and road work. Um, it’s not a joke and it’s not funny. I have calculated that temperatures can vary as much as 200°. I have seen -80° windchills in winter, and 120° heat indices in summer. Often it is colder here than in Alaska. Jackets? You like jackets? Good, because you’ll need at least 6. One to wear to and from the car, one to wear in the car, one to wear inside, one for fall days, one for fall nights, and one for rainy days. See, if you get one heavy enough for outside wear, it’s too bulky to wear in the car, but your car’s not warm enough to ditch the coat entirely – you still need something to stay warm. The weather varies so widely that you need a coat, jacket, or sweater for every 10° variance. In the summer, the heat and humidity can be so stifling that it’s almost difficult to breathe. It’s no surprise that Chicago has one of the highest asthma rates in the nation. How hot is it? In 1995, it was so hot that nearly 600 people died in less than a week from heat related causes. Spring? Don’t blink or you’ll miss it. Autumn’s not a whole lot different.
The City That Works? ROFLMAO Yeah. I remember when this story about sleeping on the job hit the air. Pictures and video of sleeping city workers were all over the news. Officials leave work early, if they deign to show up at all. They put friends and relatives on the payroll. No, they don’t give them jobs, just put them on the payroll. Government corruption in Chicago, and the Illinois state government? Notorious. One of our former governors is sitting in prison right now for his role in this truck license scam that cost a family 6 of their children.
Taxes? Chicago has one of the highest tax rates in the country. (And it’s gone up since the linked article was written.) Someone has to pay for all those relatives and friends on city payrolls. It seems like everything costs more here, from milk to gasoline. Utility rates are sky high. Take natural gas, for instance: one year I lived in a place that had electric heat. The years before and after I had gas heat. During that one year with electric heat, gas prices had doubled. Before, I paid about $75 to heat my house. The year after? About $150. Bigger house? No. I checked the bill – the rates were 100% higher. And that was 10 years ago.
People think the food here is wonderful. I suspect the only people who feel that way are the people who have lived here all their lives, and never eaten anywhere else. Chicago pizza isn’t all that hot. It’s more sauce than cheese, and sausage seems to be the topping of choice around here. Saucy sausage on dough. Does that sound appetizing to you? And did you know, it’s offensive to put ketchup on a Chicago Style hot dog? I kid you not: "It is taboo to put ketchup on a Chicago hot dog; there are actually some hot dog shops and stands that will refuse to provide service if the customer makes the request." They aren’t kidding – I’ve been to such places. "We don’ got no catch up heeah. You ain’t from Shikahga, air ya?" No. No I’m not. (Yes, folks actually speak like Dennis Franz around here. He’s from Chicago, not New York. The "accent" he has is native to here.) And I would love to get out, but it’s like living in a black hole.
There’s some sort of weird arrogance in Chicago too, at least on the news. Everything has to have some kind of Chicago connection. When the September 11 attacks happened, I expected my local news to carry the story of what was happening across the nation – New York, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C. Nothing was happening here, the big news was elsewhere. What was the news about? The Sears Tower and how it might possibly may have maybe at some point thought to have been we think on the speculated we assume target list. Oh and by the way, some planes made the World Trade Center collapse. But they were headed to Chicago! It was nauseating.
Those are a few of my reasons. I have more, but I think this is enough for a post. No doubt you’d say, "More than!" LoL That’s why I hope someone who’s searched for "Chicago sucks" comments here. Hey, we’re in one of the Top 10 Most Miserable cities! Misery loves company! Let’s chat!
Some people like it here. I doubt they’ve ever lived some place else to compare it to. I’m happy for them, honestly. It’s good to like where you live. I know of families who’ve lived around Chicago for generations. I wish I could live where I liked and like where I lived. It must be a great feeling. One day I’ll get out, and find that place where I fit in. It’s just not here.
If you like Chicago, try these links: Why I Love Chicago, or you can to Chicagoist, or to Chicago Adventures. They like Chicago too, and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to have you visit.
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My Logo :D, made by 
October 24, 2009 at 8:25 pm
The escape plan – yes, absolutely! All we need’s money and a job somewhere.
Yess, Ness, the escape plan. If you plan ahead it you can pull it off. For instance, the job market (and the real estate market) has not been hit as badly as Chicago’s. My advise is not to wait until you wasted all your energy on complaining and coping with pseudo-culture of Chicago. This would be a waste.
Chicago is terrible, in fact if anybody ever wondered why media, business or art celebrities a/k/a accomplished indviduals with means to freely chose their place of residence, do not ever settle down in Chicago there is your answer. Because it is terrible as a place to live due to its pseudo-culture.
Yeah, it’s hard – jobs don’t want to hire out of state candidates, and lease agreements cost thousands to break – it’s a never ending cycle it seems. But I know if that offer ever comes through, I can be ready to go in a month’s time.
And don’t worry, I don’t spend much time on Chicago – just the few minutes I spend here. Otherwise, it’s all about the kids and the husband.
October 28, 2009 at 8:16 am
Ness,
I know it is hard: I have been explaining to people why I live in Chicago even though I can’t stand this place for three years. It’s not easy to just pack up and go but on the other hand if you plan ahead you can do it… Just don’t wait too long and let Chicago and Chicagoans take away your joy de vivre in the process…
Planning is all well and good, Lost, and believe me, we do try to plan! At the same time, having a family makes it a little more difficult. We can’t move without a job, and out of state jobs aren’t interested in people who aren’t local. So, we can’t get a job someplace else until we move there, and we can’t move there unless we have a job. Catch-22! I have every faith and confidence though that we’ll be out of here in the next few years.
In the meantime, Chicago doesn’t have enough chutzpah to take away my joie de vivre!
October 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm
The city that didn’t work.
http://www.newgeography.com/content/0040-the-decline-chicago-the-city-doesnt-work
TJ, that was one of the most awesome articles ever on the decline of Chicago. Bravo on finding that! And thank you thank you thank you for sharing it.
November 2, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Missourian here that just got fleeced by the toll authority to the tune of $62 for some supposedly missed tolls when we drove to Highland Park last September to attend a wedding.
Us: But we TRIED to pay! Honest mistake. We’ll be happy to pay the toll. But these fines are unfair.
Chicago: How dare you drive I-294 and not already KNOW all about every single toll lane and weird exit and construction barrels blocking lanes and wild-assed Friday afternoon traffic, complete with Mack trucks going ten miles over the speed limit! Appeal and whine all you like, you little out-of-state-plate suckers you. We make the rules. And we’ll make sure you never come back and spend your stupid tourist dollars in Chicago again.
Us: Mission accomplished, Chicago. We won’t be back – ever!
Welcome Donna.
I’m sorry you had such a bad experience on the toll road. You’d think a place that likes to brag about how friendly they are would actually be kinder to those who take the time to visit. Let me assure you though that there are nice people in Chicago – they’re just more like buried treasure.
For what it’s worth, the traffic around here confuses the heck out of me too, and I’ve lived here for over 3 decades now! And I still can’t get the toll road names straight. Why can’t they just call them by the numbers instead of making up names for them all?
~Ness
November 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm
My response would be, “Fuck you, extradite me.”
LOL You know, I totally believe you!
November 2, 2009 at 10:17 pm
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS121068+21-Oct-2009+PRN20091021
Chicago is getting worse and worse. There is no chance I’d ever move back there.
I’ve gone from most stressed to much a less stressed city.
It really does seem to be getting worse and worse. The cumulative effect of all the corruption I suppose. It won’t be long until Chicago is the new Detroit. (Sorry LSDetroit!!)
November 3, 2009 at 2:43 pm
The city of Detroit itself is a shithole. Due to tough Michigan annexation laws, the city was unable to annex surrounding neighborhoods. As crappy as the city is, these nearby suburbs are wealthy and beautiful. Royal Oak and Birmingham are as urban as Lincoln Park, yet cleaner and kept free of crime by an effective police force.
It’s my understanding there has been a lot of corruption in Detroit like we have here in Chicago, and that bad policies have brought Detroit down to where it is today. That’s such a shame because Detroit used to be known as a real hard-working, blue-collar American city. Now it’s known mostly for being a run-down haven for gangs.
I’m glad to hear that some of the ‘burbs up there are still holding up though!
November 3, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I was just walking back from lunch, when I saw a douchebag Hipster and his girlfriend nearly get run over by a car. They were just nonchalantly walking across a red light, without even checking for traffic. My parents taught me to do this anytime I crossed a street back when I was four. I guess the concept is a little difficult for a Shitcagoan to grasp. Self preservation is an instinct people here do not possess. The locals wonder why so many pedestrians and cyclists get run down every year. The answer is that the people who get injured or killed are assholes.
The car swerves and honks at the prick, who proceeds to scream at the driver to “calm down”. This is exceptionally odd since the asshole pedestrian seems to be more pissed off. Best of all, A cop is nearby and does nothing.
I hate this attitude of expecting everyone else to get out of the way. You know, they do this at the grocery store too, and it pisses me off. They’re taking their life in their hands when they do it in traffic. I want to scream at them, “The world doesn’t revolve around you!” but I don’t think they’d get it.
November 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm
By the way, it amazes me how many people are wandering around aimlessly on any given day. I don’t see how so many people can afford to live in this city without any form of job.
I know! What’s up with that? I don’t get it either.
November 5, 2009 at 7:42 am
Or the immense amount of people that seem to be driving at any given moment anywhere around the Chicago area – hence the ridiculous traffic problems taking an hour to go 12 miles – I always wonder – what the f are all these people doing at 1 in the afternoon? I have a flexible job where I work from home often, so I might run errands in the middle of the day or will be heading back from the office and it continually baffles me how many people are on the road
Perhaps they’re a part of the “all pay and no work” membership of the Daley elite?
November 4, 2009 at 3:38 pm
As if anyone needs a further reminder of what a festering hellhole Chicago is, I saw this today:
http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2009/11/chicago-metro-area-sales-tax-receipts.html
Though obvious to anyone who has had the misfortune of living here, one of the author’s conclusions is spot on:
“The fact that Chicago has the highest taxes in the nation strongly suggests it has the most bloated bureaucracy and overpaid workers in the nation to go along.”
It’s not a strong suggestion. It’s fact. He forgot to mention that our bureaucrats are largely incompetent and come with an even nastier disposition than your average, run-of-the-mill native Chicagoan.
Just this week, I had to stop by City Hall for something unrelated to my real estate taxes. I stepped off the elevator to find a long line of mostly senior citizens waiting to question their increased real estate tax bills. One lady who appeared to be in her 70s or 80s complained of a 15% increase. Of course, because Chicago has a department for everything imaginable (and a friend or relative of the mayor or an alderman to run it), each concerned senior in line was directed to what the paper pusher at the reception desk called the “Seniors Department”. Undoubtedly many of these people do not have the means to pursue an appeal and will somehow end up paying their tax bill. Way to pass your profligate spending and bloated payroll on to all the little old ladies, all during the worst economic period most of us have ever seen.
The day I escape this city will be the greatest day of my life.
Welcome Kilgore.
Thanks for the link! There is so much information out there about the corruption in Chicago, and yet for some reason the voters keep voting it back in. I can only assume people like the incompetence and thuggery of the city. It’s appalling that the people who’ve worked hard and are contributing most to the city – namely seniors – are a big chunk of the ones who are getting screwed. It won’t be long before those folks pass away, and the younger generation doesn’t have a chance to replace them – who can buy a house with the way things are now? Pretty soon Chicago will be a ghost town, and no one to blame for it but Daley and the corruption of his administration, and terrible politics. Sad. I’m with you – trying to achieve escape velocity, as my husband puts it. Here’s to your good fortune and mine in the near future!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting – hope to see you again!
~Ness
November 5, 2009 at 7:37 am
Good article and thoughts Kilgore – haven’t heard from you since Breakfast of Champions! We are making every effort to get out of here ASAP, with a goal of being moved in the next 3 to 6 months – can’t wait to leave this shite hole behind for good.
Woo! Achieving escape velocity! Good for you!
November 5, 2009 at 8:08 am
Ness,
I’ve been a long-time reader and enjoy the comments from like-minded folks. Thanks for giving us a place to vent!
My pleasure!
MK – good to see a fellow Vonnegut fan. I’m enjoying a “Breakfast of Champions” of sorts as I type this.
Achieving escape velocity – I like it. I hope that both of you meet your goal sooner than later. For many reasons, it may take a couple of years to escape – but it will happen.
That is my prayer and my hope, Kilgore. For whatever reason, I believe I’m supposed to be here right now, but I don’t believe I’m meant to stay here until I die. I see another place – with mountains – so I know it’s not here!
November 8, 2009 at 1:45 am
Actually, I got here when I looked up black rose. So no, I did not look up Chicago sucks.
Well that’s a first!
I took the black rose picture down after Halloween, too.
~Ness