I came across this blog post “Men are a woman’s issue” in my reading the other day, and as always, the topic struck a nerve with me. Keep in mind that I grew up in the ‘70’s, in California, during the “height” of the women’s movement. The “Battle of the Sexes” was a familiar theme of the day when I was a kid, and as a young girl about to enter adolescence, I was probably a little sensitive to it. I distinctly remember the tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs and how I was “rooting for the girl.” That’s what we all did, my friends and I. I do recall a vague sense of puzzlement while I watched the game, because Riggs was “an old man” and King, was not. Something about it didn’t ring quite fair to me, but I was too young and inexperienced to put my finger on it. Now I realize that the whole thing was a sham – what chance did a man have of beating a woman half his age and in her prime? Gender had nothing to do with it – age did.
In the years since then, I’ve watched TV dads go from competent, loving, involved fathers who took care of their families to idiotic belching bums with Lay-Z® boys and beer cans surgically attached to their bodies. Now dads are morons and the only reason a show seems to have one anymore is because someone has to be the butt of all the jokes and God knows it can’t be a female. Men used to be heroes, providers, problem-solvers, wage-earners, intelligent, strong, the head of the home. Now they’re just buffoons. When they’re not a threat, that is. Men are either bad or stupid and there doesn’t seem to be anything in between.
And it breaks my heart.
Women have done this to men, and to be fair, men have sort of allowed them to – probably because one thing men like to do is make women happy, and if being an idiot makes a woman happy, then by God men will be the best idiots they can be. In the end though, they’ll start to hate that, and hate us for wanting them to be that, when they can – and want to be – so much more.
I believe with all my heart that men really just want to be men; and loved for it, not in spite of it. I believe men have a lot to give, and want to give it, and be appreciated for it. But no one likes to give to an ungrateful recipient, men no less than women.
Men neither need nor want to be changed, yet women seem to think that’s what a guy needs most. “Oh, he’s not perfect, but I can change him.” Ya think? Honey I got news for you – he can’t be changed any more than you can. And if you think he’s broken, you shouldn’t be investing your time or your life with him. Love him for who and what he is and he’ll do everything in his power to lay the world at your feet. Try to “fix” him or change him, and you’re in for some very unhappy – and lonely – times.
Men are just different. Not broken, or inferior. Just different. Celebrate that. Celebrate them.