“You really should vacuum Babe, there’s a Wookie growing on the carpet.”
So says my husband.
Have I mentioned how much I hate to vacuum? Everyone has a household chore they hate above all others and that one’s mine. It wouldn’t be so bad but I’m still on my lifelong quest to find the perfect vacuum. And the money to buy it. Can you say lottery? I knew you could! I’m sure, knowing me like I do, that my dream vacuum will cost tons of money. I look at it this way though – it’ll be the last vacuum I’ll ever buy.
My daughter still hates the vacuum. Even when I simply open the coat closet door she runs into her room, and if I pull out the vacuum she runs screaming. Oh yeah, that’ll make the chore more fun. My son used to chase me around the place, shooting the vacuum with his toy machine gun. Other times he’d play “snake” with the cord behind my back and I wouldn’t know what he was doing until he’d unplugged the doggone thing.
I have never found a vacuum that does what I want it to do. It seems like it should be so easy, right? Just suck up the dirt. But no, I have to make life difficult. It has to be a certain kind, with certain “perks” like a retractable cord. Trust me, I have a long list of vacuum wants. I’ve been through a lot of vacuums. I used to know someone who brought me old discarded vacuums and insisted I use them instead of buying a new one. I’ve seen all types and models and at this stage in my life, I think I know my vacuum wants.
It’s called a maid.