Just suck it up

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“You really should vacuum Babe, there’s a Wookie growing on the carpet.”

So says my husband.

Have I mentioned how much I hate to vacuum?  Everyone has a household chore they hate above all others and that one’s mine.  It wouldn’t be so bad but I’m still on my lifelong quest to find the perfect vacuum.  And the money to buy it.  Can you say lottery?  I knew you could!  ;)  I’m sure, knowing me like I do, that my dream vacuum will cost tons of money.  I look at it this way though – it’ll be the last vacuum I’ll ever buy. 

My daughter still hates the vacuum.  Even when I simply open the coat closet door she runs into her room, and if I pull out the vacuum she runs screaming.  Oh yeah, that’ll make the chore more fun.  My son used to chase me around the place, shooting the vacuum with his toy machine gun.  Other times he’d play “snake” with the cord behind my back and I wouldn’t know what he was doing until he’d unplugged the doggone thing. 

I have never found a vacuum that does what I want it to do.  It seems like it should be so easy, right?  Just suck up the dirt.  But no, I have to make life difficult.  It has to be a certain kind, with certain “perks” like a retractable cord.  Trust me, I have a long list of vacuum wants.  I’ve been through a lot of vacuums.  I used to know someone who brought me old discarded vacuums and insisted I use them instead of buying a new one.  I’ve seen all types and models and at this stage in my life, I think I know my vacuum wants. 

It’s called a maid.  😛

Categories: Just for Fun, Thinking out loud | Tags: , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Just suck it up

  1. whatigotsofar

    Teach the children to vacuum. Why else do you even have kids? Legally, they are your slaves until at least the age of sixteen.

    But it’s so much more fun to complain!

    Seriously, my son can vacuum now, but I can’t even get my daughter in the same room as the vacuum. I thought by 4 she’d be over this but no. *sigh*

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  2. I don’t have one chore I avoid until someone points it out, I have a list: vacuuming, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the toilet, cleaning the fridge, dusting, picking up toys. That’s it.

    And I bet you can imagine my response when someone says “You really should vacuum, babe.”

    ROFL Yeah, I thought of saying, “If it bugs you then vacuum your damn self!” but it was pretty hard to argue with the Wookie thing, seeing as all the hair was mine. 🙄

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  3. I used to hate vacuuming, until one day I had a brainwave and stuck earplugs in my ears. That’s how I learned that it was the irritating whine of the engine that was making me so grouchy. Eventually I got a fancy, quiet vacuum and now, while I don’t love it, I don’t hate it either. It helps that I live in a home with no stairs. Vacuuming stairs is the worst. (My vacuum is a Sebo.)

    Ooh, I’ve never heard of Sebo. Are they a new company? I’ll have to look them up now!

    It’s not the sound that bothers me so much, it’s that the vacuum never seems to go where I want it to, or pick up the fuzzy until I’ve gone over it a dozen times. That sort of thing.

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    • Sebo is orginally a German company. My little Sebo is quite light and maneuverable; it has a bumper around the edges so it won’t harm anything I bash it into (which I do plenty); and it has a suction-control knob. If the suckage gets really poor, I change the bag and we’re back in business.

      Oooh, it sounds like the Mercedes Benz of vacuums. 🙂 I’ll have to check them out.

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  4. I use my vacuum as a shovel. I go through a vacuum a year so I only buy cheap ones–under $50. After a few uses I tear the whole thing apart, take it out on the deck and spray it with the garden hose. The thing I hate most about vacuums is the filth that surrounds them. Someday I’m going to tear up my living room carpet & put down a wood floor and never vacuum again.

    The chore I hate the most is taking the trash out.

    Now there’s an idea! The shovac! I know, I hate that yuck that surrounds it too – and I have discovered that I REALLY hate the bagless kind. All that dust blowing back in my face when I try to empty it – ugh! Just give me the freakin’ bag! Easier to toss.

    Trash is nasty. We live in an apt, so have that whole communal garbage box and boy oh boy. I don’t think I need to say more!

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  5. Elizabeth Himes

    LOL I am not laughing at your pain. I totally agree, I loathe the vaccum. My hubby does the vaccuming. But I’m thinking maid sounds like a MUCH better idea! 🙂

    Doesn’t a maid sound like fun? I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have one. 🙂

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    • Elizabeth Himes

      Sadly, I didn’t have the right lottery numbers again, so I will have to wait to find out…. 😀

      You and me both. *sigh*

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