Funnies

Aging is Not For the Faint of Heart

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.  She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’? And that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.  She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.  Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Have a great, and safe, Halloween weekend!  Don’t forget to laugh, and be scared.    Boo!