I seem to have collected a few posts on the subject of "Chicago sucks." It started as sort of a joke, when the Forbes article came out, and echoed my own personal feelings about the place. I blogged about that, and it seemed that lots of other people felt the same as I did, based on the number of searches for "Chicago sucks" that ended up at my blog. I’ve decided to dedicate an entire page to the posts I’ve done about this subject, and to have a spot where I can keep a sort of "running commentary" on things as they occur to me. If you’ve come here to hate on Chicago, please feel free to comment (here or on any of the posts) and get it off your chest. 
If you’ve come here to argue with me, please don’t bother. You’re never going to change how I feel about a place, or undo what I’ve dealt with. If you want to love on Chicago, I’m more than happy to point you to www.wordpress.com, where you can get your own blog and praise Chicago to the skies. No hard feelings. 
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Other things I hate about Chicagoland …
- The roads! Patch, patch, patch.
- I-94/294. This "expressway" is known locally as, "The World’s Largest Parking Lot."
- TOLLS!
My Logo :D, made by 
December 10, 2008 at 2:34 am
i have a feeling this blago crap is gonna be a major topic for the next several days. i bet all the (corrupt) politicians will be running back to their holes like rats.
oh sweet jesus, lets just hope that fitzgerald is creating a case on daley.
its days like this that makes me feel ashamed to be asociated with this city. if someone asked if i was from chicago, i’d say ” hell naw, i’m from the new york”,lol.
Like rats to their holes is right. I wish more people felt ashamed – maybe then something would get done about it.
December 10, 2008 at 6:33 pm
HI. I am from dallas, texas. I moved up here exactly 3 years ago to be by my family, sadly I cannot move because my husband has cancer and needs to continue with his doctors and chemotherapy here but my plans in the future are to move to either austin or new mexico or else I would have left long ago~
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. What a difficult time this must be for you! I’ll be praying for his healing, and that you’ll be able to move on with your lives soon, to the better.
December 10, 2008 at 6:34 pm
And furthermore why won’t the governor just resign?
He likes the power, and I think I heard that he could still appoint himself to Obama’s Senate seat and stall the investigation somehow by doing so. Don’t quote me on that, but I’m fairly certain that’s what I read.
December 11, 2008 at 6:19 am
I am currently compiling my “david letterman’s style for top ten reasons to hate chicago!”
thanks for the kind words regarding my husband
There used to be a website, I think it was called, “Mudhole of the Prairie” or something like that, and she had put together a Top 100 list of reasons to hate Chicago. Maybe she’s still got it up and you can find it through Google or something.
I hope your husband is hanging in there.
December 12, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Another reason it sucks here… we live in a large one bedroom and our electric bill was $251….. what a joke…. $251 to stay warm in a shithole state.
ComEd = another name for robber baron.
December 13, 2008 at 10:15 pm
you could start a forum called little house on the mudhole prairie
LOL Good one! I’m getting a forum set up now, think you might like to join?
December 14, 2008 at 9:29 am
yes, i need a place to vent! thanks!
Awesome! Hopefully I’ll have it all ready to go in the next day or 2.
December 14, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Okay! The forum is basically up and running now! Woo! So, since it’s going to be a private kind of place, I don’t want to put the link right out in public here. Email me at darcsfalcon at gmail to get the link, so you can sign up and join in.
Can’t wait to see you there!
December 15, 2008 at 8:04 am
http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff297/cristelleR/how-to-build-an-igloo.jpg
LOL!
here is a photo of the beautiful homes you can buy for 575K
in a Chicago suburb….
Hey! That’s my house! Wow, I’m rich and didn’t even know!
Thanks, that was cute!
December 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm
[...] she posted about it. And it’s become quite a popular post for her. Her most popular topics, in [...]
April 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm
i hate chicago with all my soul…!!!!!
Pretty much all the people who comment on my “Why I think Chicago sucks” post feel the same as you do, BB. We’re tired of the lies, the corruption, the taxes, all the crap that takes place here. Why don’t you stop by and join the party? There are slow days – especially when the weather is half-way decent around here. For the most part, the folks are friendly and encouraging. http://darcsfalcon.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/why-i-think-chicago-sucks/
Hope to see you there.
~Ness
May 24, 2009 at 9:58 pm
I just found this page because boy do I hate this shithole of a city…I will proceed to rant thank you..Firstly I hate the Chicagoans who defend this city like its a fuckin badge of honor!!!I can not fuckin stand Chicagoans, I am a black man who doesnt want to settle for the scraps of life this city as to offer black males and this city is definitely not made for me. This city is SO fuckin racist and closed minded that its disgusting. Not only that it is EXTREMELY classist. There is no sense of diversity in this shithole everyone sticks to there little groups and dont truly communicate with others. This place is segregated and hateful. The music scene is a fucking joke its filled with elitist idiots. Chicagoans have delusions of grandeur and think that this is the fuckin center of the world. They hate to admit that NY is a better place…well it IS!!!
Welcome JB, and you feel free to rant whenever you need to.
Most of the people who stop by my page feel the same way you do about Chicago. It’s based on our own observations and experiences and I think we’ve found that by sharing them, we don’t feel so “out of sync” with everyone else around us. You are absolutely right that so many Chicagoans act like it’s a badge of honor to defend the city, and I’ve had a few stop by these pages and try to be as hateful and rude as possible – as though their attitude was going to change my opinion somehow instead of just solidifying it even more.
WE know Chicago isn’t the center of the world and whenever you feel the need to rant about this place, stop by any of the pages listed above and you’ll find like company – mostly on the “Why I think” page. You are not alone.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope to see you again.
~Ness
May 26, 2009 at 9:00 am
“Firstly I hate the Chicagoans who defend this city like its a fuckin badge of honor!!”
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Falcon’s blog is popular because it is such a hush hush subject; criticize Chicago and the locals get defensive.
Your opinion is nothing new, believe it or not. The poet Rudyard Kipling went to Chicago a century about and wrote a whole chapter on the city.
http://www.online-literature.com/kipling/american-notes/5/
Here is my personal favorite line from the chapter: “I went off to see cattle killed, by way of clearing my head,
which, as you will perceive, was getting muddled.”
My room mate asked me if I had heard of Kipling a few days ago and I mentioned he was one of my favorite poets because of the accuracy of his perspective of Chicago.
I will be returning to Chicago this weekend to visit family there; I call the city “Stalingrad of America” because like Kipling said Chicago has “nothing to do with this country”
I don’t claim there is a utopia city is America, nor do I even attempt to compare Chicago with NYC, but if you can I’d relocate ASAP.
Not to play the race card here… but a black from the South would probably be in culture shock seeing Chicago. My sisters co-worker was black and from the south and shocked by Chicago– the white and black communities (as it is rare with will find both side by side around Chicago).
And there are some fine black communities on the SS by the Lake. Or as my brother said, “If I was black in Chicago I’d live in Oak Park, IL”
I’m not a Stalinist and I don’t hang giant communist pictures of Obama on my walls or wear them as T-shirts– so I left Chicago for good.
If you need advice on how to deal with Chicago, I can gladly offer my expertise.
My partner in crime! Yes, if anyone knows anything about dealing with Chicago, it’s you.
May 28, 2009 at 12:15 am
BTW it took a British person to remind me of anything of any musical significance that came out of Chicago–it came from the black community.
How about gospel?
How about House music?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kup0BdoLzbg
For being like 12 percent of the population blacks have given soul to the mechanically cold life of the white person.
Tell every racist you know in Chicago to blast this and shut their mouth…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kup0BdoLzbg
You might think its gay, but it is the driving force for all modern music….
You know what I think is sad? Many in the black community here came from the South to get away from slavery. They came to Chicago to get away from something horrible, and now they get treated like garbage in the city. It’s like trading one disease for another, and both are terminal.
May 28, 2009 at 12:31 am
My room mate was playing this dumb game on his xbox and we were both wondering what this song was on it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uorSxiH3VE
Black people have so much soul… its a shame that all their communities have been nearly obliterated and obamaized in the last few decades…
Thank you welfare…the destruction of the black community…a good Daley I invention…to get his ass votes
Anyways I’m ranting now…
Welfare is an awful thing, and it’s done far more harm than good.
Rant away hon, it’s why we’re here you know.
May 28, 2009 at 12:53 am
Daley is nuts, crazier than me look at this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ashM23pslk&feature=related
I’ll be on the Ohio River, with a pack of cigs, and some guns on my kitchen table waiting for Chicago goons (Obama etc…) to come and get me.
Didn’t mean to spam your comments Falcon…this is just too funny for me…looking at it now from being out of the picture
Oh my gosh! What a goon he is! All these people do is take and take and take and tax and tax and tax the people and then complain about “hard choices”? If it’s so hard, get out of freakin’ office and let men with stones run the place!
July 17, 2009 at 1:23 am
Great website. Glad to know I am not the only one who hates Shitcago and think that there is something wrong with Shitcago.
Welcome aboard.
Hope you get your website up and running soon – I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to say.
~Ness
September 23, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Thank you thank you thank you for this blog. God forbid anyone say anything negative about the “mecca” of the midwest. I can’t even begin to describe how many things pissed me off beyond belief in my 4 long years in Vanilla City, USA. Sales tax = ridiculous. Gas prices = ridiculous. Weather = you need a lobotomy to think it’s OK.
Oh, but wait! They have a nice shiny bean and videos of people that spit water on the ground!!!! Oh and Oprah! Chicago ‘culture’ at its finest, need I say more?
For the gripes, let’s start with cornhole, or if you’re a cool Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville yuppie, “bags”. What is the freaking obsession with this barnyard game? I admit, I come from the East, and was intrigued at first by this game that I had seen at tailgates. However, when it’s played every single day of the weeks on the sidewalks, I knew once and for sure, I was in the middle of a city full of hillbillies. No, you’re not cool. Sorry. You look like douchebags. The icing on the cake was when I saw a “bags” arcade game at a local bar. Wow.
What I learned while living in Chicago is that it is an “inheritance city”. What is this you ask? It means that Chicago produces no fads or trends in anything. Rather, the East Coast, West Coast, and sometimes South produce them, and eventually they filter in toward the middle.
Get over yourselves, Shitcagoans, and please stop trying to act like NY when the majority of your population is full of people who grew up on farms. And stop with the “Chicago is a cleaner and friendlier NY” — actually I would say, “Chicago is a smaller, less fun, and more dangerous version of NY. ”
Murder capital of America, Chicago! Be proud of yourselves.
I’ve not heard of this “bags” game. Then again, I’m not a yuppie either.
I’m glad you liked the post, Exile. It’s always gratifying to know someone else out there “gets it.”
So true about the “inheritance” thing too. I noticed that after living in NY and SF, and then moving here. Things that were being raved about here were passe on the coasts.
Murder Capital, indeed. Chicago finally beat NY in something, and they’re so angry about it too.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
~Ness
September 24, 2009 at 12:49 am
Hahaha — i can totally relate- lived near Wrigley, and those idiots with the bags were the worst! Had to call the cops at one point just to get some decent sleep. You should have seen how sad and scared those North Faced a-holes looked when the police showed up.
Completely agree with the ‘Vanilla City’ label you gave. Nice place to visit, but SO BORING BEYOND BELIEF to be considered a “city” to live in.
When I was living there during my 7 year tenure, I always felt like I was living in a manufactured city; like the suburbs of any other region puked on a city and produced what we know as Chicago. How many chain restaurants can you have in your primary tourist district? For that matter, Chicago, do you have any places for tourists to go aside from Navy Pier? Well, I guess you’re catering to Midwest tourists, and most have never seen a California Pizza Kitchen in their lives, so i guess it makes sense.
Where’s your character? What defines Chicago? And don’t say hot dogs and pizza.
Well, if you take away the hot dogs and pizza, what else is there? The “BEAN”?
I’m not sure what Chicagoans would say defines them anymore. I’m not sure if they even know. Pride, perhaps?
You were here for 7 years? I know it seems like ages to you, CNT, but I envy you. That’s short-term to me! Were you here for school?
Thanks for commenting.
~Ness