But they’re sticky!

It happened just as Darc and I were discussing our respective blog posts … “What are you going to blog about?” … “I dunno … what are you going to blog about?”

Right then my kids asked us a question.

See, this afternoon at the grocery store, my son heard his name being called from a shelf near the bakery section of the store.  He spied the box of doughnuts.  Glorious red and blue glazed, star shaped, what more could a boy want?  He begged me for them.  “It’s only $5 for the whole box, mom!  Please can we get them, pleeeeeease??”  I caved, naturally.  You should see how big his eyes can get and how long his lashes are, and his huge gap-toothed smile.  Resistance is futile – he’s like the Borg. 

Later in the evening he and his baby sister had their doughnuts while their dad and I were discussing blog potential, or the lack thereof. 

“Can you cut up my doughnut?”

“Yeah, me too, me too!”  Guess who said that? 

I stared at my children, as I was trying to wash some dishes.  “Wait … you want your doughnuts cut up?  Like in pieces?  And you want to eat them with forks?  What is wrong with you people?  Seriously, how can you be my kids and want to eat your doughnuts with a fork?”

“But they’re sticky!” was the excuse.

“They’re doughnuts!  They’re supposed to be sticky!  That means you can play in the sink afterwards while you wash your hands and faces.  Nobody eats doughnuts with a fork!”

“We do, we do!”

“I have my blog post for tomorrow,” I announced to my husband.

Daddy cut up their doughnuts, they did indeed eat them with forks, and they still played in the sink afterwards while they brushed their teeth. 

I have decided I have the prissiest kids on the planet. 

 

Just add water

The car was warm and the driver’s side was facing the setting sun.  The Princess started to complain of being hot, since the sun was on her side, beating down on her. 

“I know, baby, I know it’s hot, we’ll be home soon.  We just have to cowboy up with the heat for a little while,” answered daddy.

“You mean cowgirl up, daddy, I’m a girl, me and mommy have to cowgirl up.”

Not yet four years old and already she’s taking a stand and a distinction for her femininity. 

We all chuckled at her cuteness.

Somehow these children of mine have ended up with an incredibly strong sense of self at an early age.  I’m not quite sure how that happened, considering the dominant personalities their father and I have – I was sort of afraid they’d feel cowed, you know?  Often being around dominant people can make less confident people kind of feel they’ve faded into the background somehow.  But such is not the case with my children, I’m happy to say.  They know who they are, they know what they like, what they believe, what they feel.  Most importantly, they know they’re loved.  “Even when you’re angry with me you still love me,” says the Princess. 

If the current years are any indication, the teen years are going to be incredibly rough with these two.  It’s bad enough when a 7 year old retorts, “I don’t like it when you talk to me that way!” when he’s been naughty.  Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when he’s 15 and full of himself?  But think of the man he’ll be at the end of it!  A man who stands up for what he believes in and speaks his mind … and a sister who does the same.    I’m growing some awesome future grown-ups here.  In a way, this is my real garden.

Mom-ness

(hey!  I should use that as a blog title and do just mommy-blogging stuff there!)

I live with a songstress.  She fills the house with music every day.  She twirls and dances, spins and skips, and sings the whole time.  She knows the words to several of the songs on one of her kids computer game CD’s, and she sings those with abandon, repeatedly.  She also knows the words to the theme from Deadliest Catch, which also happens to be Wanted, Dead or Alive, by Bon Jovi. 

I can’t get her to sing into the mic at my computer, and I have no way to get video from the camera to the computer either.  That makes me a little sad, because I really wanted you to see how adorably cute she is when she’s doing her thing.  I thought if I could at least get her recorded through my mic, I might be able to make a video with still pics or something.  At 3, she knows how to put passion into her songs.  No matter how many times she sings them, she never loses that enthusiasm.  Ever.  She can sing the same song a thousand times and is just as joyful the last time as the first.  And she’s pretty good at staying in tune, too.

I also live with a smart-alec.  Well, 2 of them – one a pro, and one apprentice.  *rimshot*  My son makes wise cracks to the TV now.  Just the other night when we were watching Paranormal State he quipped, “Yeah, Paranormal State makes me para-annoyed.”  He saw the commercial for the Obama Chia Pet and said, “Hey, it’s Barrack O’Hair!”  Sometimes I get the “Yeah, right” response when I tell him something – although he is learning that smart-ass remarks to one’s mother are not in one’s best interests.  Other times he snorts at me.  Yes, he actually does that *snort* thing.  I’ve even gotten the line, “But I already know all I need to know,” during homeschool.  At 7.  I thought we had a few more years until the ‘tude began, but no, it’s here now.  Only trouble is, most of the time he’s just being funny, not rude, and I can’t help but laugh at the things he says.  I know this only encourages him, but come on, Barrack O’Hair?  How can you not laugh?  He’s getting his flirt on already too.  Last time we were at the store he told one of the stock girls that she was pretty.  He already knows how well this works on mom, now it’s time to test it on the world, I suppose. 

My kids are awesome and they make me look good, most of the time.  I’m not afraid to take them out in public, although we did have a 3 y/o mini-meltdown the last time we went to the grocery store but Daddy cut it short with a suggestion to go hunt down cookie treasure stolen by pirates.  Other than that, they’re great to have around.  It amazes me sometimes, how complete they are.  They are themselves, and they just seem to know who they are.  They embody pure joy, and I love having them around. 

I’m still working on that screaming thing they do though, but other than that, I got the cream of the crop. 

~~Ness~~ 

It’s a baby!

 

Congratulations and best wishes to my friends

 

Kristy and Ben

 

on the birth of their daughter!

My St. Patrick’s Day

Caffeine!  Woo!  We were down to only decaf in the house for the past few days but we managed to make a grocery run yesterday and stock up a little.  Coffee in the house!  Hopefully the caffeine-withdrawal headaches will go away now. 

I thought it would be a nice treat to pick up some McD’s for St. Patrick’s Day, get the family some shamrock shakes … would you believe my local golden arches was out of shamrock shakes?  OUT of shamrock shakes on St. Patrick’s Day?  What kind of shoddy operation are you people running there??  You don’t run out of shamrock shakes on St. Patrick’s Day!  That’s just … just … sacrilegious! 

The library didn’t have any books by an author I’ve recently fallen in love with either, even though their web site said they did.  They lied!  I’m telling you, this guy is good – so good in fact even my beloved live-in critic liked his work.  Now that’s saying something!  The book I read recently is called “Empty Ever After” by Reed Coleman, and it’s the latest in what is called the Moe Praeger series.  It’s a gritty detective book, sort of noir I suppose.  The prose was tight, the characters – and there are many – were well written and full of depth, even if their scenes were brief.  While the story was intense and dramatic, some of the lines were amusing and even funny.  I heard Darc chuckling and when I asked him what made him laugh, he read a line: “I wondered if that lazy fly buzzing around the bar was wearing a nicotine patch.”  To be honest, I was a tad surprised when he said he didn’t think it was my taste.  I’m the girl who used to read Lawrence Sanders with his curmudgeonly Edward X. Delany character; and Robert Ludlum with all his spy intrigue and Bourne and Osterman; and devoured the complete cases of Sherlock Holmes.  And I read true crime like it’s going out of style – which sadly it’s not – why wouldn’t I love detective stories?  Hmm.  Anyway, no Coleman for me this trip.  I think I’ll try putting some books on reserve for next time.  I did manage to find another of the funny Irish doctors series by Patrick Taylor so I’m happy about that.  I’m going to try someone new, too.  Can’t think of her name right now and too lazy to get the book bag.  I also found a mystery “anthology” book, so I’ll let you know how all those turn out.  Mmm, fresh meat – I do love trips to the library!

My kids have been on a funny roll lately too.  The other day when I was setting up to watch “The Brave One” with Jody Foster (Jody = A+; movie = B-) my daughter asked if it was a scary movie.  I said, “No, not a scary movie, maybe a scary scene or two but no monsters or anything like that.”  My son quipped, “Well of course there has to be a scary one if there’s a brave one, you can’t have one with out the other, and the movie IS called ‘The Brave One’.”  That’s usin’ your noggin’ kiddo!

Then last night my daughter came and knocked on the door while Darc and I went to have a quick smoke.  “Um, are you going to watch more grown-up shows?”

“Yes, we’re going to watch more grown-up shows,” daddy answered.

“Well, um, but I’m a kid!”

“I am aware of that, princess.”

I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.    She’s trying so hard not to be a baby anymore. 

So that’s how I’ve been.  And you?

~~Ness~~ 

 

Neither this nor that

Have you ever had one of those times when nothing feels right?  Just that things are wrong.  Your head hurts, but not bad enough to be called a headache.  You’re tired, but can’t sleep.  You’re achy, but not enough to say you’re sick.  That’s pretty much how I’ve felt for the last 3 days – like I just want to curl up in a corner with my blanket and teddy and suck my thumb while I stare at the pretty colors on the wallpaper. 

We thought about going to the library on Saturday, but when we looked out the window and saw horizontal snow, we changed our minds.  And both Darc and I were trying to cope with this listlessness.  So, no new books to read, which means I’ve been stuck re-reading the crappy Jodi Picoult I picked up at a bookstore a few months ago.  I only picked it up because I’ve seen Picoult on the cover of writing magazines, and her books everywhere, so I figured I should get one to see what the fuss was about.  It’s bad, people, bad.  Darc tried to choke it down once and could only manage about 30 pages or so before the dreaded adverbs overwhelmed him.  And there’s a glaring -  GLARING – mistake in the timeline that no editor caught, and should have.  Seriously, on page 18, the main character’s father had passed away before she ever got pregnant; on page 64, her daughter was 2 when the main character’s father died, and again on page 177 the main character took her 2 year old daughter to the grandfather’s funeral.  Either the man died before his granddaughter was born, or after, but not both!  I see things like this and wonder how she’s in print, and my husband isn’t.  (You want good fiction?  Check out his stuff.)  And the whole story is nothing more than a bloody romance dressed up as literary fiction.  I feel deceived.  And the publishing industry wonders why it’s going down the toilet. 

I don’t think I even went online for the whole weekend, and the phone calls I was going to make and didn’t, I’m sorry.  I have been cranky and bitchy and didn’t want to inflict that on anyone else.  Have been, *snort* listen to me!  More like AM bitchy and cranky!  I’m trying not to be, honest. 

Time for some lunch, and then the dreaded vacuuming.  If you hear a 3 year old girl screaming as she runs to her room, don’t worry, it’s just my baby Falcon running from the vacuum.  She tells me it’s the sound that scares her, that she knows it won’t hurt her, but it’s just loud and she doesn’t like loud.  Unless it’s her own screaming as she’s playing, of course.  *rolls eyes*  When the crews come around with the lawnmower or snowblower, she panics and hides, just like when she hears the vacuum or garbage disposal.  I keep thinking she’ll grow out of it, but I have this nagging fear that when she’s 30-something, she’s going to call me to come to her place to vacuum it for her. 

~~Ness~~ 

Grumpy days!

There must be something in the air.  I don’t know what it is, but yesterday my daughter was one of the grumpiest babies I’ve ever seen.  My son had a touch of it too, as did my Beloved.  It seems we were all a bit on the short tempered side and could hardly be coaxed out of it.  Especially the baby Falcon.  Nothing pleased her.  It didn’t matter what games anyone tried to play with her, it didn’t matter what she was offered to eat, everything made her angry. 

It’s hard to be a parent on those days.  It’s hard to remember to be patient.  There are moments you just want to shout back, “Fine!  Be a grump!  See if I care!”  I sent her to her room for a bit and she came out later and tried to be in a better mood.  It wasn’t too hard for her, because by that time, mini-Darc was in his grumpy phase and that took the focus off her.  Mini-Darc hates math, and fights learning it as best he can.  Darc and I spent a long time trying to explain the importance, but really, how much do you think sunk in to his 7 year old head?  Yeah, same here.  *sigh*  All I can do is plug away every day and hope something sinks in at some point.  He’s such a structured child, attached to his routines, I thought he would love math for its absolutes.  So not the case!  He’s convinced himself it’s hard, therefore he thinks it’s beyond him to learn – at least until he’s a grown up.  He believes when that magic day happens, that he will somehow also magically attain all the mathematical knowledge he needs.  Yes, that makes sense to him. 

It’s hard for a daddy to be patient when his babies are full of piss and vinegar but Darc did his best.  Me, I was the very soul of patience and understanding … and if you believe that, I have a bridge in Alaska to sell you, too.    Thank goodness it’s Tuesday!

~~Ness~~ 

Interesting? Not so much

I asked my husband for blog fodder.  He’s a writer, he’s got imagination, he should have some ideas, right?  Not.  “Blog about your life, people seem to like that,” was his response. 

There isn’t much to my life.  I’m a wife and mother.  I raise my kids, homeschool my son, do household chores, play Sims, watch TV, and read blogs.  I have come to learn that “interesting” doesn’t happen so much in the big things, but in the little things – the day to day living stuff.  Interesting is spontaneous – you can’t really make it happen, it just does.  And I’ve also come to realize that the things I find interesting, most other people probably wouldn’t.  And as my husband says, “What the **** would you know about ‘interesting?’”  Oh, that man does like to tease!  I live with him – I know lots about interesting! 

Like tonight, my husband and I went to the smoking room to indulge – doesn’t that make it sound like we live in this big mansion?  Smoking room – say it with an English accent – sounds rich, no?  It’s just a bathroom.  A small one, at that.  Anyway, I was done before my husband, and when I came into the living room, my son and daughter were playing some game in which my son was wrapped up head to toe in a blanket and my daughter was giggling as little girls do.  I snuck up behind my son and started tickling him and he shrieked like a banshee.  That caused my husband to come charging out of the smoking room, growling, “What the hell is going on out here?  It’s almost midnight!”  I felt chastised and I’m the mom!  I didn’t think the boy would scream like that, I was just trying to make him laugh, for goodness sake!  So that was an interesting moment in the Darc House.  Interesting and amusing to me, anyway. 

That’s why I search the web looking for interesting things to blog about.  My life just isn’t one of them.  Now you know. 

~~Ness~~

BrAngelina Baby

Study: Attractive Dads Make Ugly Sons, Beautiful Daughters

I thought this article was kind of interesting.  Basically it said that attractive fathers will make good looking daughters, but not good looking sons.  That struck me as pretty funny.  I suspect that not only will little Shiloh and Vivienne grow up to be lovely young ladies, but baby Knox will probably grow up to be quite a handsome young man.  I’m just sayin’. 

Of course, it could be that they will all be ugly.  It’s happened.  “How did such a beautiful couple have a child like that.”  Oh c’mon, we’ve all thought it at some point!  Or the reverse.  “How did such ugly people end up with such a beautiful kid?”  Everyone said that about my parents.  *coughcoughcough*  Okay okay, I’m kidding!   

Whatever the case, let’s not let little Knox ever see that study.  He’ll end up thinking he’s ugly even if he’s the handsomest boy ever.  (Of course, he’ll never be as handsome as my boy, but hey, you knew that.  )

 

 

©DarcsFalcon

Happy Pre-Halloween!

A few weeks ago, we stood next to the costumes and she saw the sparkly princess one that had the twinkly lights.  “Oooh, Mommy, I want that one!”  I breathed a sigh of relief.  She wants a girly costume, yay!  Maybe we’ll be done with wearing big brother’s hand-me-down Spiderman stuff. 

Not so.

As we were getting the kids dressed in their costumes on Sunday, the princess saw brother putting on his black Spidey suit, and the fits started that she didn’t want to wear her princess one.  Noooo.  She wanted to wear the hand-me-down red Spidey suit.  Sigh. 

You see, Halloween came early to our place.  Our township’s website stated that trick-or-treating would be held on Sunday the 26th, in the afternoon between 1-4.  Living in an apartment and being a homeschool mom, I didn’t know how many other people would know that too, until I got the bright idea of looking up our local schools.  Other kids would probably get a notice, right?  Most folks who have kids live near schools, right?  They’d know when trick-or-treating is, right?  My idea paid off.    I picked a neighborhood near a school close to us, and lo and behold, other kids out trick-or-treating! 

The wind was howling as my husband, Spidey, Spidey, and I ventured out.  Many houses were decorated so we knew who was ready and who was not.  The very first house we went to, Princess walked in when the lady opened the door.  Walking down the street, my son bonked his head on someone’s mailbox.  (He’s okay!)  Both kids ended up taking trips down people’s front steps that seemed unusually high.  Candy buckets dropped and spilled their contents all over sidewalks.  One house went all out with decorations and the kids were scared to go to the door until Daddy went with them and rang the bell.  Princess Spidey sang most of the time.  Most folks were nice.  The neighborhood was quiet, so with the wind howling and the leaves skittering all over the place, it still had a Halloween feel to it even though it was broad daylight.  The nice thing is, since they had it this past weekend, there’s no rush to hurry home from work on Friday in time to take the kids out.  You don’t have to carry a flashlight, and there’s no rush hour traffic to deal with.  It was much more relaxing in a lot of ways than past Halloweens.  The most important thing, the kids had a blast and got tons of candy.  My son’s candy will probably sit in his Halloween bucket until Easter when I find it and toss it out.  My daughter’s will probably be gone by the time my husband gets home from work tomorrow. 

And at least I got her into the princess costume long enough to take a picture. 

©DarcsFalcon

Mommy time

My son came bouncing into the room early one morning last week.  He woke me up from a sound sleep and I wasn’t too happy about that.  He was asking me something, I don’t recall what, but I gave him a lengthy answer.  I heard him sigh in exasperation and he quipped, “Mom, ‘Eeeeeeee’ is NOT a word.”  Well.  So much for my early morning clarity.  I’m pretty sure my husband almost laid an egg when I told him about it, too.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen him laugh quite that hard. 

My daughter has decided to enter her teen years a bit early.  Like, a decade early.  She’s into changing clothes now, especially since she can open the dresser drawers by herself.  She’s not quite ready for potty training, but in an attempt to show me she was thinking about it, she put on 3 pairs of panties, at the same time … over her diaper.  But do not, I repeat, do NOT piss her off.  She’s got that female “HMPH” thing down like a pro, complete with stamping her foot, crossing her arms, and turning her back on you.  Of course, that’s after her announcement of, “I’m ANGRY at you!”  Naturally, when she’s over her pique, she’ll come seeking hugs and asking, “Are you happy at me?”  And she’ll smile her pixie grin and bat her lashes to make sure she looks extra cute. 

We now have the added feature of 2 Spidermen in our home.  I think of it as … the bonus disk.  We got our son a new Spiderman costume, since he was about to castrate himself in the old one.  He choose the muscled version, and now the Princess has the old Spiderman sans muscles all to herself.  You just cannot know the pleasure of hearing “pshew pshew pshew!” all day long.  Those are web-shooting sound effects, in case you didn’t know.  All.  Day.  Long. 

And then, the quiet, late at night … er, I mean early morning.  I tiptoe into their room to kiss them goodnight before I crawl into bed.  They have no idea how much I need them, how much I’d do for them.  How very much I love them.  How did I get such wonderful, beautiful, amazing babies?  Blessed.  Indeed.  I know how much God loves me, for I see the awesome gifts He’s given me every day. 

PS – Happy Birthday Sherri!

 

©DarcsFalcon