I came across these articles a couple of weeks ago –>>Wives Who Scold Their Husbands in Front of Perfect Strangers & This poor guy, and they kind of struck a nerve with me. Mostly because I know of a couple now who sort of fit this description, and also because I’ve noticed the trend in our society for the past couple of decades. Somehow it’s okay for a wife to treat her husband like an idiot, and the husband is supposed to just take it, with a dumb smile on his face. We see it all around us.
I started noticing it back in the mid 80’s, with a young couple I used to know. They were newlyweds, and the young bride had no trouble at all criticizing her husband in any number of ways, especially his earning capacity. She had no problem pressuring her groom to get an extremely dangerous job because of the pay increase it would bring, so she could shop at places like Neiman-Marcus and Saks 5th Avenue. She didn’t seem to comprehend that as a young man just starting out in the field he’d chosen, he was making a pretty decent buck. It wasn’t enough for her, and she drove them into some serious financial trouble and eventually into divorce court. And no, he never would take that dangerous job for her. She was what we referred to as a “ball-breaker.”
Then there were shows like “Roseanne” and others, where the husband was portrayed as nothing more than a buffoon, a decoration – and an ugly one at that in his La-Z-Boy, with beer-belching habits – whose function was solely to enable the wife to go shopping and make fun of him. Suddenly, husband meant “court-jester” or “comic-relief.”
And men, in their desire to please the women in their lives, let it happen. “Oh well, I can take a joke.” Pretty soon, it’s more than jokes, it’s insults. And men were still expected to be “SNAG’S” (Sensitive New Age Guy’s) in the face of a woman’s derision. But if he was too much of a SNAG, then he was a wimp, and that was bad, too. If he didn’t take a woman’s insults and abuse, why then he was an abusive chauvinist. Men just can’t win anymore. The roles that once defined our society are now “passé” and unacceptable.
Do you really think society is better for it?
Men are supposed to be understanding and supportive, and those same qualities don’t seem to be required of women. Why do women seem to think that’s fair? Could it be because many of them don’t really want equality with men, but superiority over them? Just wondering here.
Yes, I’ve known the male buffoon, but I’ve also known female ones too. Women aren’t better, just different, and men are still deserving of our respect, just as we are still deserving of theirs. It’s a 2-way street, and if we don’t start giving, we’ll stop getting. It’s that simple.
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