Friday Funnies

Thought I would do a little bit of marital humor today.  🙂

Remind you of anyone, ladies?  😉

image 

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The following was clearly written by a man.  Hmph.

Summer Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Sat., June 12, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Complaining About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch–They Make Medicine for Moody Women – USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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Just to balance things out a bit.  😉

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Have a wonderful weekend!  Laugh, you’ll be glad you did.  😀

 

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Friday Funnies

  1. whatigotsofar

    So, this chicken walks into a library. He waddles over to the check-out counter. At the counter, stands an elderly gentleman, the librarian, slowly stamping a pile of books.

    The chicken, looks up at the librarian, “Bawk.”

    The librarian picks his head up out of the stack of books, looks around. “Is somebody there?” he asks.

    The chicken repeats himself, “Bawk.”

    The librarian looks down and sees a chicken staring up at him. “Oh, did you say ‘book?’ Yes, you want a book don’t you?”

    The chicken again says “Bawk.”

    Never one to deter anybody from the written word, the librarian takes a small book from his stack and hands it down to the chicken. The chicken snares the book underneath a wing, turns around and walks out of the library.

    One hour later, the chicken returns to the library. He waddles back upto the check-out counter where the old librarian is still stamping away at a stack of books.

    “Bawk bawk.”

    The librarian, hearing the chicken, immediately puts down his stamp and looks down at the chicken, looking back at him.

    “Bawk bawk.”

    “Ooh, you want two books now.” The old librarian grabs two small books and hands them down to the chicken. “Here you go, one under each wing.”

    The chicken takes the two books, turns around and waddles out of the library again.

    One hour later, the chicken returns.

    “Bawk bawk bawk.”

    “Ooh, three books now. That’s wonderful. Here you go.”

    The librarian hands the chicken three books; one under each wing and a thin book the chicken grabs with his beak.

    With the three new books, the chicken turns around and waddles away.

    Another hour passes and the chicken returns again.

    “Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk…” the chicken repeats again and again and again.

    “Oh my, you want lots of books. Maybe I can give you something to help to carry them.”

    The librarian walks into the children’s section. There he finds a little red wagon which he immediately begins filling with books of all shapes and sizes. He rolls the wagon over to the chicken and the chicken takes it away.

    A few minutes pass when the librarian makes a startling realization, “That chicken doesn’t have a library card. I better follow him to see where all those books are going.”

    The librarian abruptly leaves the library and starts down the street, hoping to see the chicken. A few miles up the road, the old man spots the chicken, with the wagon in tow heading into a forest. The librarian follows the chicken through the woods, up a hill, down a valley, across a farmer’s field and over to a babbling brook. Spanning the brook is a little, ricketty bridge. The chicken stops at the centre of the bridge, looks down and sees a lillypad inhabited by a frog. Next to the frog is a stack of books. The chicken takes a book from the wagon and passes it down to the frog.

    “Bawk.”

    “Reddit.”

    Hahahahaha! That’s a good one! 😀

    Like

  2. steve

    I hope you and your family have a great weekend!

    You too Steve! *hug*

    Hey, any news on the new cat buddy who showed up? Did he have a chip? Is he yours now?

    Like

    • steve

      Oh yes! The “parents” of that beautiful beast located him and he’s home safe and sound. I sure liked that “luber”!

      Oh bummer! I mean, good that he’s back with his family, but I thought it would have been nice for you to have a new addition to yours. Oh well. Maybe you’ll find another one at the pound. 🙂 And, all’s well that ends well, right? 🙂

      Like

  3. Hmmmm… Ginger, sitting in a chair and asking me to fetch food. Who DOES that remind me of?

    See? See? I knew it would remind you of someone! 😉

    Like

  4. I love how in the classes one, they want the woman to put up her curling iron but they don’t want to put the seat down, which is, after all, its proper resting position. It has a lid for a reason.

    Laughing my A** off at the cone of shame.

    “it has a lid for a reason.”

    Damn straight! So put it down, guys! LOLOL

    That cone of shame cracked me up too. 😀

    Like

  5. All I can say is the next time one of my gentleman callers will not stop to ask for directions, I will stop and get out. I have too few years left to drive in the wrong direction for any amount of time.

    LOL I’m with you! Who wants to spend their time lost like that? 🙂

    Like

  6. PS loved the post – and the bonus chicken joke.

    Thank you. 🙂

    WIGSF comes up with some great ones sometimes. 😀

    Like

  7. Great Friday funnies! I love the classes. Again…why I live alone.

    LOL I can imagine that sometimes it seems so not worth a hassle. 🙂

    Like

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