I was going through my blogroll a few days ago, clearing out broken links, blogs that have been all but abandoned, updating new blogs – general blogroll maintenance. I’m sure you know the drill. Sometimes we just do that. As I did, I had a few things flit through my mind. I recalled the person who (quite some time ago) sent Darc an email requesting that he remove them from his blogroll. In trying to determine if it was a spam generated email or a legitimate one, we discovered that said person had decided to believe a lot of their own misconceptions about us (and it turned out about others as well) and was actually holding some amount of hostility toward us for reasons we never really figured out. Such is life and the nature of the blogging world, I suppose.
And then I got to thinking, why do we do that? Why is the blogroll used that way? I think similar things occur on Facebook too, with the friends list. “I’m going to take you off my blogroll!” “I’m going to un-friend you!” I remembered – and cringed – when I was about 7 and threatened the neighbor girl with “I won’t be your best friend anymore!” I have no recollection why, but I do remember saying it. We all did that, and I’m sure kids across the world do that still. Why was that such a threat? That never occurred to my 7-year-old brain. Did I think friendship with me was such a prize? Did I think I could control her? Did I think she cared? Did I think she had no other friend options? I don’t even know, but I do recall that feeling of wanting to bend her to my will somehow, to make her do what I wanted. And I thought my friendship was the tool I could use to do that.
Boy, was I dumb! I was also 7.
Eventually we grow up, or think we do anyway! LOL I know lots of “grown-ups” who are stuck on 7 in lots of ways! No doubt you do too. It makes me sad to know that. I have learned in the years since then, how very valuable friendship is, how it needs to be cherished and nurtured and not taken for granted, and certainly not used at a threat or manipulation. It is a gift. Loyalty means a great deal to me.
And a blogroll is not a litmus test of anyone’s friendship.
I like to think I’ve grown up a little since those long ago days when I was 7. Or 17. Or 37. Maturity should be a constant goal, shouldn’t it? When I was little I wanted nothing more than to be a grown-up. I thought I would hit 21, and I would “arrive.” I had no idea it would be a lifetime endeavor! If I had, I might not have wanted it so much. 😉