So, uh, yeah, some of you read about my fall over on my husband’s blog last Friday. I thought it was kind of appropriate that it happened on the 1st day of Fall, bringing to mind the ever-hilarious 1st-grade joke, “Didja have a nice trip? See ya next fall!” Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck *rimshot*.
Seriously, thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me. 🙂
Here’s what happened. I was cleaning in the kitchen, getting those behind and under kinds of places – you know, under the toaster, behind the cookie jar. I had put a pan in the sink to run under hot water while I wiped down the counters, and I guess it splashed out over the floor a little bit, because when I turned around, my leg went West, as I was turning North and my knee broke my fall. You know how you get that little seam where the square linoleum floor tiles meet? Yeah, I have the imprint on my knee cap now. It’s a lovely red line, but it does kind of clash with the big purple-y spot on the side of my knee cap. And actually, it doesn’t look as bad as it feels. As long as I keep my knee straight, there’s almost no pain. But if I try to bend my knee, or use it when trying to transition from a sit to a stand or vice-versa, oh boy.
The thing that hurt the most though, was the blow to my pride. I’m a grown woman, for Pete’s sake, and I shouldn’t be taking nose-dives in my kitchen like that. And to make matters worse, I laid there crying like a big baby, until my husband could come help me, when I realized that with his back, he couldn’t help me. And then I didn’t want his help because I realized that if he tried to help me, he’d only end up making his back worse, and then what would we do? I’m the one who’s supposed to tend to everyone else, not get tended to. That’s my job, to be the care-taker, not the care-receiver. I am not comfortable with this state of affairs at all, and my knee can’t heal fast enough to suit me.
In the meantime, I hobble around as best I can, trying to stay put in one place as long as I can so I don’t have to do that stand-sit routine very much. Only problem is, I love coffee. Coffee does not love me, refuses to stay with me any length of time, if you know what I mean. Oh now there’s some good times. GOOD TIMES! :roll: Let me tell you, it’s no longer running to the potty, it’s slow-limping to the potty. This is not a good thing for a woman in her 40s who’s had children. And let’s not even talk about the whole “do I try to sit down in a tub or stand up in a shower?” thing. Nuh-uh.
I feel like something out of a bad comedy routine. “She’s slowly getting away!” Step-limp, step-limp. Hobble, hobble.
But I did realize something as I was falling asleep that night and kind of reliving the whole impromptu kitchen ice skating thing. I know now why I hate orange. I’ve always associated emotions with colors – yellow is happy, blue is serene, green is lively, red is anger – that sort of thing. But I always drew a blank on orange, except for that I hate it. When I fell, and as I laid there feeling that pain just bloom in my knee like some kind of tentacled amorphous monster, the color behind my eyelids was orange. Bright, fiery, screaming, agonizing orange. Orange is pain for me. That’s why there have never been any orange flowers in any garden I’ve ever had. So, I’m glad I got that figured out now. Silver linings, you know.
So yeah, I had a great trip. Haven’t had one like it in 30 years, since I tripped over the hurdles in high-school gym class and left a bloody trail as I walked to the nurse’s office. Before that, it was a rock that sent me flying off my suddenly-stopped skate board. Hey, I was a California kid in the 70s, we all had skate boards back then, yep, even me. I wasn’t too bad either, until that fall. That’s the one that gave my knee it’s weather forecasting abilities. Cool, huh? I figure 3rd time’s the charm, as opposed to 3 strikes you’re out. I’m thinking positively here. Something popped in there this time, and it actually felt kind of good. That has to be good, right? RIGHT?
Other than that, I’m fine. And how was your weekend? 🙂
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The "Ness" in DarcNess ;) 
OH wow. My weekend was loooooong. Friday night I hung out with a friend and watched a couple of movies. Nothing new. Just One Crazy Summer and Swingers.
Saturday I worked then I went out with some friends. Dinner then video games at Bob’s place. We played a $5 xbox game Bob got at Burger King. That little game is a heckuva lotta fun for five bucks.
Sunday, I went to this book/writing festival in downtown Toronto. To get there, I drove into the northend of the city to grab the subway. The stop I went to only has one entrance and the lineup was huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge. I’ve never seen a lineup 1/10 of that length at a subway before. So instead of waiting in line I drove to a further subway stop. There, not only did I find free parking (on an official transit lot, rarity), but the only way I could find into the actual station was through a bus loop, therefore I accidentely bypassed paying for the transit fare.
At the book festival, I saw a presentation by some blogger whose blog has gone totally massive and has written a best-selling book based on his blog. Also saw some famous chefs present recipes from a new cook book. And I saw one other presentation and reading by a guy who has a popular radio show on Canada’s national (elitist mofo) broadcaster. It was a really interesting event. I will probably go back next year. Oh, and I accidentaly stole some cards from a booth pushing some kids literature about a family of bums (not the bindle-toting homeless people, but ass kind of bum). It’s supposed to teach little children about pooping. I thought the cards were just promotional items. I later found out they weren’t and had to be paid for or something. I dunno. I was just blown away by the cast of characters of bums. I guess it’s like the toothbrush family but instead of encouraging children to brush their teeth, it teaches kids about farting. The books come with a little electronic gadget with buttons. When you press the buttons, the gadget makes farting sounds.
Okay, I don’t have kids, so I’ve never had to go through the whole potty training fiasco, but you have. Do you think a colourful picture book about a family of bums would help or hamper your children learning to poop?
I’m glad you had a nice weekend! Sounds like you had lots of people to see and places to go, and it always makes me happy to hear about when you’re happy. 🙂
As for teaching children to poop, I’ve got news for you – they come out of the womb knowing how already, it’s just a matter of how to catch it. Books, schmooks, this isn’t something that goes well when you try to force on your kids, they will use the toilet when they’re doggone good and ready to stop sitting in their own filth. The books are only to make the authors money and they’re using a kid’s love of foof noises as their selling point. Kids LOVE that sound for some reason. Heh, apparently so do lots of grown-ups. And yes, I said foof. Pppbbbfft. 😛
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Well no wonder you don’t like orange! So sorry you hurt yourself, Fal. Bad things shouldn’t happen to good people, and if they do, the recovery should be short. That is what I wish for you.
Great post, although I hate the subject matter. 🙂
Aww, thanks dolly. 🙂
I hope your knee heals up quickly too. Rug burn is no fun either.*hugs*
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Oh dear, knees can be so finnicky. I hope yours heals up right away! It is very frustrating to be immobilized.
Thanks sweetie. 🙂 It’s been long time since the last time I went through something like this, and yes, frustrating is one way to describe it. 😉
Further to WIGSF’s comment, my friends’ toddler calls farts “A burp from your bum!”. LOL
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I am a day behind answering posts – OK. Weekend – WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA – a fog of visits to car showrooms followed by a long period of ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Sunday. It is like a military mission. I’m happy to be home again and with my new car, Greta the Jetta. Thanks for her name, DF.
I am delighted you went with Greta. 🙂 That totally made my day! 😀
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When I fall, I land on my heaviest part…my butt. It’s very undignified, but at least there’s lots of padding.
Oh my! LOL If I fell on my bum, I’d probably injure my tailbone again. I’d rather it be my knee, the tailbone was 7 years of constant pain.
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Oh noes! That sounds awful! I hope you’re on your way to a fast and speedy recovery!
And don’t feel so bad about crying, every time I fall or trip, I like to sit and pout for a bit. Feels good to be a bit sulky once in awhile, reminds me that I’m not invincible. Everyone needs a hand sometimes.
But I like thinking I’m invincible! This only proves I’m flawed! Can I pout about that? 😉
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