Friday Funnies

imageInnocence is Priceless

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque.  It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.  The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Alex.’

‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, what is this?’

The pastor said, ‘Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.’

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.  Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, ‘Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?’

*****

image The Wild Kid

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.  No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.  Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.  All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.  "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."

*****

Have a wonderful weekend!  🙂

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Friday Funnies

  1. For the best religious jokes, see Rowan Atkinson. If you could view videos, I’d put some links to YouTube in this comment.
    If you get the chance, do a search for Rowan Atkinson’s series of one man shows from the 1980s. He’s got some really amazing stuff.

    In case you don’t know, Rowan Atkinson is the guy who played Mr. Bean. He was also the Italian guy in Rat Race.

    That name is SO familiar to me! I can’t picture a face though, I’ll have to look him up, and then I’ll go, “Oh yeah! THAT guy!” 🙂

    Like

  2. Bob

    I heard a joke on the radio this morning:

    I wish my grass was EMO, it would cut itself

    HAHAHAHAHAHahahaha! I almost spit out my coffee on that one! Too funny! 😀

    And I must say, it’s good to see you, young man. 🙂 I feel like you’ve been MIA for too long now.

    Like

  3. I wish the general had been on some flights with me.

    Rowan Atkinson was also the newly ordained priest in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

    I had to look him up. His face is a bit familiar to me, but I can’t say I’ve seen him in anything recently.

    That general had some tricks up his sleeve, didn’t he? LOL He’s a keeper!

    Like

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