Funny “truthisms” I saw on iOwnTheWorld, thanks to a link from Bookworm a couple of weeks ago.  Smile

– I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

– Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

– I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

– There is great need for a sarcasm font.

– How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

– Was learning cursive really necessary?

– Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5; I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

– I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

-  Bad decisions make good stories.

– You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

-  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again..

-  I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

– I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

– I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

– How many times is it appropriate to say “What”? before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

– I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front; Stay strong, brothers and sisters.

– Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket,  finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey; but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

– The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974; That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important ….. Ladies quit laughing.


Guess what I found in our little storage closet?  Heh.  My old CRT.  Talk about boat anchors!  I can’t believe we still had it!  I thought we got rid of it when we got my computer back in ‘06.  Apparently not.  I went to pick up what I thought was an empty box and about gave myself a hernia.  So it looks like I’ll be calling the office to see if we can borrow a dolly. 

Nothing says Spring like cleaning!  Winking smile

Have an awesome weekend!

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. Oh man, that last one had me rolling! I’m going to make that my status update. Hilarious!

    Good to see you laughing like that! 😀


  2. Those are great! I couldn’t agree more about the mystery of how to fold a fitted sheet. At least I have a sort of strategy to go about it. My husband just kind of balls up the sheet and stuffs it onto the shelf. I re-do it when he’s not looking.

    Fitted sheets have a mind of their own!


  3. Onyx

    Oh Spring Cleaning is wonderful. I need to get crackin’ and finish everything. I’m 34 weeks now! And I feel like I have sooo much to do, and not enough time, and the doctor says he may induce me early – so LESS TIME!

    The fitted sheet thing… this one drives me bat-shit crazy. I saw a video once explaining how to properly do it (because everything, amazingly, is on the Interwebs), but I get so mad every time I attempt it, and resort to cursing at the stupid thing, balling it up, and huffing it in the closet.

    First off, there is never enough time. I’m still looking for it myself, lol!

    There is a technique to the fitted sheet thing. I can do it, but it works best when I use the bed as a table of sorts. That’s the only surface big enough to make sure it’s folded right. Figures there’s a video for that!


  4. HAHAHA! Loved these. My life motto seems to be “bad decisions make good stories.”

    LOL That makes you lucky in my book. My life motto would be, “Bad decisions make consequences that suck.” 🙄


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