Life According to …


  • Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
    – Mark Twain

  • The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
    – George Burns

  • Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
    – Victor Borge

  • By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
    – Socrates

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    – Groucho Marx

  • My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
    – Jimmy Durante

  • Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
    – Winston Churchill

Have an excellent Independence Day weekend!


All rights reserved by DarcsFalcon

Get your copy of my husband’s books!

Buy J Dane Tyler’s Fiction now!

Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Post navigation

3 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. So cute! I’m going to send these to my grandmother. She’ll have a good laugh.

    Yay! Please give her my best regards too. 🙂


  2. Bob

    I like the last one.

    That’s one that kind of hits you between the eyes as you get older. 🙂


  3. Ahhh…funny guys. Hope your 4th weekend was great!

    It was! I hope yours was too! 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: