The Religious Questions
The Ham Sandwich
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest were good friends. At a picnic one day, the priest was eating a ham sandwich. "You know," he said to his friend, "this ham sandwich is delicious. I know you’re not supposed to eat ham, but I don’t understand why such a good thing would be forbidden. When will you break down and try it?" To which the rabbi replied, "At your wedding."
The Coin Toss
By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. "Why are you so late?" asked his friend.
"I couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin," said Bobby.
"But that shouldn’t have taken too long." said the friend.
"Well, I had to toss it 35 times."
Late For Class
A little girl, dresses in her "Sunday best" was late and running to her Sunday school class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear God, please don’t let me be late. Dear God, please don’t let me be late." Then she fell.
She got up, dusted herself off and saw that her dress was now dirty and had a little tear. She started running again, still praying, "Dear God, please don’t let me be late." But this time she added, "But please don’t push me, either!"
One Palm Sunday, little Joey had a sore throat and had to stay home from church with a sitter. When the rest of the family came home, they were carrying palm branches. Joey asked what they were for. His father told him that people held them over Jesus’ head when he walked by. "Wouldn’t you know it!" said Joey. "The one Sunday I miss, Jesus shows up!"
A Sunday school teacher was telling the class about how Lot’s wife looked back at the city while they were fleeing its destruction, even though God had forbidden her to. She then turned into a pillar of salt.
A little boy interrupted her and said, "My mommy looked back one time while she was driving the car and she turned into a street lamp."
I Don’t Want To Go To Church!
A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, "I’m not going!"
"Why not?" asked his mother.
"I’ll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them."
His mother replied, "I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!"
Smile, weekend’s almost here!