Funnies

Puns for Smart People with a slightly warped sense of humor

  • Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
  • Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
  • Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
  • Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
  • What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  • A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.

*****

I love a slightly warped sense of humor! 

Have a wonderful weekend!

All rights reserved by DarcsFalcon

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Funnies

  1. love these kind of things. I wonder if other languages allow you to toy with words like you can with English?

    Aren’t they fun? 🙂 I love them too. I don’t think other languages are as flexible as English is. We have about a million words now, and I think German is the closest competitor at roughly half that.

    Like

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