Funnies

Aging is Not For the Faint of Heart

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.  She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’? And that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.  She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.  Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Have a great, and safe, Halloween weekend!  Don’t forget to laugh, and be scared.  Winking smile  Boo!

All rights reserved by DarcsFalcon

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Categories: Funny, Just for Fun, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. Funny you posted about age today, since I woke up feeling every year I’ve lived and then some.

    Oh I hate those mornings! Thankfully, it only happens on days ending in “Y”. 😉

    Hope you feel back to your youthful self soon. 🙂

    Like

  2. I remember a story in Time or US News from a long time ago where they interviewed those hundred year old + people in the Caucasus Mts. The interviewer asked this one man,allegedly 105, as he worked his field what he would ask for if he had one wish. The man said “I’d give anything to be 70 again.”

    LOL Well that certainly puts things in perspective!

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  3. You have a great Hallowe’en too! 🙂

    I hope yours was relaxing and enjoyable, Spark! *hugs*

    Like

  4. Onyx

    Bah! I love the driver’s license one! That sounds about accurate for the area we live in 😛

    LOL I think we all know someone like that. 😀

    Like

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