Funnies

Executions

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

 
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens — he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention — so he’s let go.

 
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade, he claims he can’t be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

 
They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem …."

*****

Those crazy engineers, always wanting to solve every problem!  Winking smile

Have a wonderful weekend!

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. Poor engineer.

    LOL He asked for it!

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  2. “Some foreign country…”
    Yeah, how many countries have used the guillotine? Just say it. It’s France!

    Little known fact about the guillotine’s usage during the French Revolution. The blades were rarely if ever sharpened. Quite often, the blade would not decapitate the “aristocrat swine” with one blow. Two or three chops were often necessary. The blunt force of the blade dropping on the neck the first time would simply cause a tremendous amount of pain and suffering for the aforementioned swine while the blade was pulled back up to the top of the chute.

    And have you ever met an engineer. Sure, they’d tell you what the problem is but give one a screw driver to fix the problem and they’d be confused and uppity. Probably say something like “Excuse me, I’m an engineer. I build things with my mind, not my hands. You fix it yourself now that I’ve told you what’s wrong.”

    Some foreign country – I don’t write ’em, I just c/p ’em!

    Yep, I’ve met engineers. I don’t think they fix things either. I think they don’t like to get their hands dirty, but they do like to figure things out and solve problems. Hmm, sounds an awful lot like me.

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  3. I’m here to help out your beloved husband. I hear he wants a toaster oven but you don’t like them. Here are the benefits of the toaster oven.

    I’m glad he has someone like you on his side! However, I never said I don’t like toaster ovens, just that we don’t need one.

    You can toast whatever you want, not just a slice of bread. You can toast a pita bread. I’m talking a 12″ diameter pita. Throw some cheese and oil and garlic and other stuff on there and you’ve got a quick child-sized pizza.

    But, we’ve don’t eat bread, or pita, or pizza anymore.

    “Oh, but it doesn’t toast evenly.”

    Then a buy a good one. Use this internet thing. Find some reviews of the toaster oven before you buy it. Yes, some don’t toast evenly, but some do. Find out which one.

    I would do it that way, if I were in the market for one. I hate spending money, so I tend to research things. It’s my “thang.” 🙂

    As for oven functions. They can be just as good, if not more efficient. A regular oven is great for roasting a turkey, but what if you just want to cook a couple chicken fingers or a half dozen wings. You’re going to turn on the oven for 3 chicken fingers. That’s overkill. A regular size oven will take nearly as long to pre-heat as it will to cook the chicken fingers. Then to have half the oven empty. Why? A toaster oven, being much smaller pre-heats much faster.

    When I first joined the workforce, I came home and wanted a simple meal for myself. I often baked some chicken fingers. I would turn on the oven, wait ten minutes for the oven to pre-heat then put three or four or five fingers on a tray and slide it into the oven. I felt like that was a waste. Five pieces of chicken, the oven easily fits ten or twelve. So I started putting more and more chicken into the oven. Then I’d eat every last crumb. That’s way too much food for one person.
    Eventually, I got myself a good toaster oven. With the toaster oven, I could make three or four fingers without feeling guilty for having half the oven empty yet being heated. Using the toaster oven helped me control my food consumption and prevent gluttony.

    That’s absolutely true, but we’re a family of 4. I had a toaster oven when I was a kid with a divorced mother (pre-microwave days!), but the tiny ovens are only good for individual portions.

    Okay, money’s tight. You can’t just rush out a buy a toaster oven tomorrow. I get that. I’m just giving you some toasted food for thought when the inevitable happens and your current toaster starts to die out on you and needs to be replaced.

    LOL Yes, money’s tight, but counter space is even tighter! I have aboutthismuch room for a toaster oven (holding fingers about 4 inches apart) and simply don’t have anywhere I could put one, even if I wanted one. We have a microwave, which suits us better, because unlike the toaster oven, it reheats my coffee and make popcorn for the princess, melting butter, and anything else we need done in terms of simple and quick heating. 🙂

    One day, when I have a big kitchen with lots of counters, I’ll also have a toaster oven in there somewhere. And when I’m ready to buy one, I promise I’ll call you for your expert help in choosing just the right one. 😀

    Like

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