I was telling my kids a story about my own childhood the other day, and it had my husband in stitches. I’m not sure why, but for what it’s worth, here’s the story.
When I was a kid, I was a pretty picky eater. Oh, who am I kidding? I still AM a picky eater! Although I’m not nearly as bad as I was as a kid. Anyway, in addition to my being a picky eater, my mother was a horrible cook. She did criminal things to food, I kid you not. How much of her bad cooking contributed to me being a picky eater, one will never know.
One time, I must have been around 10 or 11, she made something for my dinner that – best as I can recall, was either mushrooms or Brussels sprouts. It was round and slimy, I remember that, and I would not eat it. It looked weird, it smelled awful, and it was slimy. No way. Would. Not. Eat.
I can be a stubborn girl when I have a mind to.
My mother yelled at me, threatened me, all kinds of things she told me would happen if I didn’t eat the science experiment reject in front of me. Eventually she picked up a piece of whatever it was off my plate and tried to shove it in my mouth.
Oh no, we are so not going there! I clasped my hand over my mouth as an extra barrier of protection. This was a battle of epic proportions!
My mother, in her rage and frustration, leaned over and bit my hand, the hand covering my mouth. She bit me! I remember screaming, and I had a set of lungs on me too, it’s a wonder the neighbors on the other side of the wall didn’t call the police.
At this point in the story, Darc busted up laughing. I mean to tell you, he almost had tears running down his face, and that’s quite a feat of accomplishment for me! Usually I’m the one splitting a gut at his stories.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked him. “My knuckles were bloody and had teeth marks and everything!”
I try to remember that my beloved is a writer of horror fiction so things often strike him in a way they don’t other people.
“Oh my gosh,” he replied, “‘Eat or be eaten!’ That’s just priceless.”
I guess it does have sort of a vampire quality to it. Eat or be eaten. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make it into one of his stories yet!
[Preview: Vampire Bestiary « Eternity Publishing]
Cross posted at DarcsFalcon.com