Friday Funnies


GED Exam


The following was recently sent to me claiming these are actual answers on the GED test. I’m not too sure about that, but if it is, boy how sad! 

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight


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Have a wonderful weekend!

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Categories: Funny, Laughing Out Loud | Tags: , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “Friday Funnies

  1. Small wonder I didn’t do well on my SATs.

    Wonderful weekend to you and yours, too. Rain here throughout so comfy chair all ready for reading.

    Mmm, that comfy reading chair sounds … comfy! Would love to join you. 🙂

    You have a wonderful weekend too, dear. 🙂

    Like

  2. whatigotsofar

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. It’s a nice hotel downtown.

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
    A. Distillation is the process of leaving water perfectly still and not shaking it. That way all the unsafe stuff sinks to the bottom of the glass.

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. That you can pay.

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Not important at all. They pre-empt all the good TV shows in first week of November.

    Q. What are steroids
    A. That cartoon show with the giant rhino and the two blobby guys. It was on between Scooby-Doo and Lancelot Link.

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He starts reaching for girls.

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A. Cigarettitis

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Add sugar (or any artificial sweetener).

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. By their location and function in the body.

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. It is the kitchen utensil used to flip pancakes.

    Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
    A. It’s part of a salad bar.

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. That’s when the repoman takes your pickup truck.

    Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
    A. Nothing, it’s a mispelling of the word ‘begin.’

    LOLOL You know, I like your answers better. 😀 Good job, you pass!

    Like

  3. steve

    Hey Nessa! Have a good weekend!

    You too Steve! 😀

    Like

    • steve

      A little tidbit; my blog post today was published on the front page at The Post & Email this morning. Cool huh?!

      Awesome! Woo! I went over to show some love. 😀

      Like

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Friday Funnies « The "Ness" in DarcNess ;) -- Topsy.com

  5. I like the sign! 😀

    I couldn’t resist. 😀

    Like

  6. those are some amazing responses! I hope they all passed!

    LOL I don’t know if they passed or not – not even sure it was an American test (we spell it ‘categorized’ not ‘categorised,’ but the answers were pretty amusing. I was never brave enough (nor creative enough!) to leave a creative answer on a test if I didn’t know the answer.

    Like

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